The sun will set for you

I close both blinds and turn away
sometimes solutions aren't so simple
sometimes goodbye's the only way,
and the sun will set for you...

I'm done bloggin, people.

Couldn't you tell? Unfrequent posts, laziness...

The truth is, KS is moving in, I'm working my fingers to the bone, I don't get to live anything interesting enough to tell.

Maybe one day I'll keep it up again. As for now, I feel like putting things on hold.

Thank-you to those who read and supported me through this journey of almost 4 years.

How soon is now?

I met Lou and it was the weirdest meeting ever.
In first place, I never met Lou during working days, so of course it’s always shocking when you’re used to see someone wearing swimsuits, or summer nights drinking outfits, seeing them wearing tie and suit. Of course it’s not just about clothes: Lou was stressed out. It kind of washed away his twilight aura.
I guess the same thing might be true for me, though.
Also, I practically never see Lou unless we’re on vacation. And all of a sudden, he proposes to catch up.
So Lou’s big news for me is he quit his girlfriend.
My big news for him: KS is moving in (in July, btw).

I guess my vampire romance has bad timing.

Anyway, we had the weirdest time ever.
I was feeling so sick I had just popped two aspirins, and it was pretty warm outside, so I kept sweating like crazy. My ears felt plugged, and I could barely hear.
Plus, I’m not used to this stressed out version of Lou.

In the end, we chatted a bit drinking coke (him) and fresh orange juice (me), then I declined a lift and walked home, where I went straight to bed (at 4PM) and slept/read till 8AM this morning.

Man, I really need to get over this bronchitis.

It just occurred me, I might be a train wreck

In one hour I’m seeing Lou.
I haven’t seen him in a couple of months, and I look like shit. Hell, I feel like shit.
The bronchitis survived (nourished on?) two cycles of antibiotics, and I’ve started the third which has not yet kicked in. I’m even running a slight temperature. On top, my allergies are driving me crazy.
I know, Lou is just a friend, but when you don’t see a friend very often, you’d still like to look at least nice, am I wrong? Oh, on top, I am up to 130lbs. Which, in a way that has nothing to do with Lou, makes me want to swear like a sailor.

I mean, what’s wrong with me? I have male friends I’d NEVER EVER even consider kissing (not even in drunken dementia), but I still want them to think I’m attractive. Hell, I even want Bro to think I’m attractive.
It’s like that, I’m a silly blonde girl!
Of course, I care about Lou’s opinion on my appearance more than Bro’s opinion. Because let’s face it, Lou is hot. He rocks the best 6 pack I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I don’t want him to hit on me, I want him as a friend. But possibly, as a friend who thinks I’m hot.
Which is not gonna happen today considering my eyes and my nose are pouring, my voice sounds weirder than ever, and generally speaking, I look like someone just punched me on the head.
Whatever.

I’m starting a new project on Monday, which most likely means I won’t take care of the project in Casablanca (sgrunt sgrunt), but at least this one will allow me to work from the office.

Well the good thing is I’m leaving the office at 3.30 to meet Lou, I’ll drink something with him (likely, fresh orange juice, given my condition), and by 5PM I’ll be home tucked in bed. Youppie!

I came back and...

…it was frigging AMAZING!
4 days surrounded by nothing but peaks, snow, ice, a brilliant blue sky, the best looking mountains in Europe.
We could not ski the Haute Route for various reasons, but in the end it was so great we didn’t care!

We left on Wednesday morning, headed to a lake in Val d’Aosta and settled for the tour of the Matterhorn (le Cervin).
It was somehow a tough call, because both the Sponsor and I had (still have) bronchitis, and the peculiarity of the Matterhorn Tour is that every days is harder than the day before. Which, of course, makes it pretty rough after 4 days of skiing and climbing carrying a 12kg backpack (over 26 lbs).

On our first day, we had the best companion ever: a big, sweet dog climbed with us and then skied back to the hut (he belonged to people who work there): after a while we split, so I was climbing up on my own, and the dog kept my pace and never left me! Awwwwww! I even shared all my (little) food with him!
The second day was so and so because both the Sponsor and I were so sick, we could barely make it. But then on the third day, we had this super hard start, partly ski touring and partly ice-climbing, but then we were remunerated with this view:

Matterhorn (Cervin)

La Dent d'Herens

That night we stayed in Cervinia (Breuil), so we could finally take a shower and use decent toilets!
Since it was also the first time our phones got signal, I also found out something amazing:


KS got the job AND HE’S MOVING IN OVER SUMMER!!!!!!


But let’s go back to the Tour.
By the third night, I had bad blisters on my feet, and the cough wouldn’t leave me. I knew that the first part of the last day would be climbing this:

But I put together all my strengths, and gave all I could. And we did it!
When we finally got home, on Saturday night, I discovered my journey to Casablanca has been postponed to May, so now I am back to the city. KS is coming over for the weekend and he’ll spend here also Monday and Tuesday, and if we have enough time we’ll drive to Ikea to buy a drawer for when he moves in.
I still cannot stop coughing, but seriously, who cares?

So you thought this was a fairy tale

I feel like crying right now.

As most of you, my readers, know, I’ve been training VERY hard, over the last few months, with an objective: doing the Haute Route ski tour. From Chamonix to Zermatt and then to Saas Fee, from Mont Blanc to Cervin (Matterhorn) to Mont Rose, the best mountaineering ski tour of the world. Phisically challenging, I begged to obtain a week off from work, worked miracles to organize everything, trained until my legs would ache badly.

But that was great, you know? Because the Haute Route is always an amazing experience. Even more so because we had planned to do it together, the Sponsor, Bro and I, with a good friend of us who is also a guide.

Work almost fucked up everything, because just yesterday I found out on Sunday 18 I have to leave for 15 days to go to Morocco (and don't even try saying how cool that is because it's FUCKING UN-COOL. It will be 15 working days with no days off, in some stupid outskirt of Casablanca. I hate it already). I rearranged everything in order to be back from the Haute Route on Saturday 17 at latest.

Fighting with allergies that are really kicking me off, I spent the last couple days doing miracles at work in order to be able to leave tonight and be off next week. And the allergies, they’re bad. Yes, all the running helped with the Asthma, but my eyes are always so puffy and swollen, and of course I feel like I have the worst cold ever and have troubles sleeping. And I DON’T WANT to take cortisone this year, because it’s unhealthy, it gives me insomnia and makes me fat. But that doesn’t matter because a week in the snow will halp greatly you know? No allergies up there!
But then of course, today we realized the weather forecasts on that part of the Alps are so bad we cannot possibly leave before Wednesday, because it would be too fucking dangerous. And of course, since I have to be back by Sunday morning in any case, we won’t be able to ski the whole Haute Route.

Is this childish?

Maybe. But I really put so much effort into this, and I’m so tired, I can’t help feeling really sad.


Take me back,
to the rivers of believe,
my friend:
I'll look inside my heart
I'll look inside my soul
I promise you I will return.
(...)
we'll rest our knees, on my rivers of belief

...and again. Plus, something incredible

Now, in first place I want to tell you something amazing that happened on Sunday.

I saw three wolves. No, not in a zoo. Free wolves, hunting in the mountains. At no more than 500 meters from us.

I am used to see wild animals, just last Saturday I saw a fox in the woods not far from home, but wolves? I never thought I’d ever see wild wolves in my life.

It was an incredible experience, also because I was skiing and I kept seeing them for a couple of minutes (that’s why I’m so sure they were wolves).

Besides that, the weekend was incredibly exhausting, physically AND emotionally.

Last Saturday I helped the Panther for a tough job: a huge fountain we have in the woods had been, over the last two years, submerged by mud, so we had to dig until it was visible again, and then clean it. Last week I had trained VERY hard, and I was already pretty tired, so this job was pretty much exhausting by itself.
The in the afternoon I ran a couple errands with the Panther, and also bought myself a suit and shoes for the office. We had the grannies over for dinner, and I also stopped by at Bro’s place, so I ended up going to bed without having had a moment for myself, but that was fine because ski touring was planned on Sunday.

And so Sunday morning I woke at 5 (as usual), and went to ski, but the weather was awful and I was feelling sick.
We met the others, and I was relieved to see that B just said hello but did not approach me.
We started hiking, and soon I had to stop to throw up, but at least I managed to do it discreetly and not in front of anyone.

And then we saw the wolves, and that really made me feel better! I kept on hiking, also because we had decided that, given the awful weather, we would just get to the next hut and stop there.

When we got to the hut, I was feeling a bit dizzy, so I stepped right inside thinking I would change my wet clothes. B stepped in right after me, and started talking. He had opened a bottle of beer and (again) offered me some, but I said
“Thanks, but no thanks. Actually I was sick half an hour ago, so no beer for me”
“Sorry to hear that baby”
(Baby? BABY? Who the hell are you calling BABY?)
He went on with small talk, while I took off my sweater, then I realized both my T-shirt and my top were soaked, so I wore my jacket and pulled out my top from underneath (no nakedness in front of B, DDgirl!). I turned around and he was facing me holding a clean sweater
“Here, DDgirl, take my sweater, you’ll be more comfortable”.
“Oh thank-you, that’s not necessary. I’ll put mine next to the stove so it’ll be dry in no time”

(and seriously, B, do you think I’d drink your beer, and then wear your clothes? And then tell me, what would next step be?)

“I insist, wearing windstopper on bare skin cannot be comfortable and I have another clean T-shirt for myself”
“Really B, thank-you but it’s not necessary”

And then I managed to grab all my stuff and get to the other room (where the stove was).

From then on, things declined: I started feeling worse, and the Sopnsor and I soon made our goodbyes, and went home. I felt better for a while and then I plunged into stomach flu, so much that yesterday I called sick at work for the very first time in my life.

This morning I felt way better, so I came to work.

I logged into Facebook and I had two messages, one from an old friend. And one from B.

“How are you? Feeling better?”

Again

Yesterday I drove to the mountains for some good ski-touring with the Sponsor and the ski-touring school crew, as any given Sunday in this season.
We had a great day, sunny weather, a fantastic tour, great snow, and I had a lot of fun with an old friend of mine.

Of course, B was there as well.
When I stepped out of the car, early in the morning, my above mentioned old friend came to greet me and B came along with him, and he was all like:
“Hey DDgirl, how are you doing? You look like someone who’s slept in the car, wake up!”

(seriously? Why would you care?)

I just said “Hey guys, what’s up? Ready to start the hike?”
I mean, I don’t want to be the one who starts drama, so I kept it cool, but still…
Soon afterwards, we were all getting ready and I put on my wool hat, which is a cute warm white funny thing… with soft deer horns on its sides!

People LOVE my hat, and so did my friend, and we cracked a few jokes about how it would help in case of avalanche (with people only having to look for the horns, and so on).
And again B shouted at me across the parking “Oh COME ON DDgirl!!! What do you wanna mean with that hat??”

(In Italy they say that you’ve got horns when someone cheated on you)

I just laughed and said “The Sponsor gave it to me and I love it!”
“Well it is beautiful” he said.

As soon as the Sponsor was ready we left (B was going with another group, luckily), and let me tell you, I was ready waaayyy faster than usually, because this whole thing of B talking to me was so weird.

We had a GREAT day, as I said, plus the ski patrols all made such good comments on my style I may even start to hope to join the touring ski teachers again…. But I don’t want to build too much expectations, we’ll see how things go next year.
The Sponsor also had fun, even though he was a bit tired, and we really enjoyed our day together.

At the end of the tour, in the afternoon, we caught up with the other groups, near the cars, at a small bar with a big courtyard that was cleaned from the snow and really sunny and warm. Since we had gone for the longest hike, we were the last to get there, and I was happy and suntanned. As I was taking my skis off, B came to me and started asking me how the hike was, and then he gestured towards the beer he was holding and said “Want some?”
“eeeeerrrr no thanks, I’m gonna grab some for the Sponsor and I” I said, and I can only hope the tan I got hid my blushing cheeks.

I mean, what was all this fuzz about? He even took my arm in his hand a couple minutes later to catch my attention.
The worst thing was, we first kissed in that same place!

Next Sunday will probably be the last time I see B this year, and I’m fine with that. I don’t want him messing up with me.
I’m not a saint, and I must admit I’d still like some kind of revenge on him, but I know I’d end up being hurt, so I’m just fine with saying hello from a reasonable distance.
Like I said before, back OFF, B.

(In any case, I had an AMAZING day. AMAZING, people)