I AM a bastard. And you?

So, Maria needed to be taken care of, and of course that’s what I did, although, what do you tell to a broken heart?
The most sincere comment I ever got was from a colleague, a nice one, when B. and I broke up. He told me: “You know it, it’s hard. But guess what? It won’t get easier. No, it will keep hurting in time, weeks will pass, summer will come and you’ll no longer go on holiday with him, and you’ll keep staying out at night, after work, to avoid your empty apartment. No, don’t trust to those who tell you it will soon get better, ‘cause it’s not true”.

I thought at the moment (at I still do now) that he was right.
Anyway, I didn’t feel like handing out this to Maria, so I just listened and offered compassion and company. At least I hope so.

Meanwhile, in my own head, I was thinking about what a vile thing he had done. And then, as I’ve recently re-read “High Fidelity”, by Nick Hornby, I thought about the 4 worst things I’ve ever done to a man (no matter if the “he” of the moment ever found out or not).

1 - I’ve cheated on my first BF while he was in love with me
2 - I’ve been sleeping for a while with two guys who were best friends one to the other (never both at the same time!!). We would hang out, and if I felt like going home with someone, I would pick up one of them.
3 - Every time I’m in love, I find the BF mob phone and read all his messages (usually it’s me who gets hurt)
4 - I spread at my previous office a rumour about one of the interns being gay. Everybody did believe it.


Those are my excuses:

1 - When I was in love with him, he dumped me (needless to say, he broke my heart: I was 16!!!). Eventually, he came back and my family pushed me to take him back, but I was so angry I made out with another guy while he was on holiday. By the way, later on, I discovered he cheated as well during the same holiday.
2 - I have no excuses, but no feelings were involved, they were just bed buddies. And, after a while, I realized that they both were aware and okay with it.
3 - Let’s be serious, who doesn’t?
4 - The guy made out with me one night, after months of flirting, and then turned me down when I asked if he was coming home with me.

So, I’m a bastard, okay.

But, take a minute and think about the few worst thing YOU have ever done to someone of the other sex.

Done?
Okay, so who’s the bastard now?