The storm breaks

Kevin understood something was wrong, and held my hand under the table, questioning me with his eyes from time to time. Me, I decided to drown my worries in alcohol…

It was already half past eight or so, some of the group had already left, and then a song I love started playing : it was Moby, in a duo with this French singer, Mylène Farmer, and it goes like: “Hold on people that slipping away, hold on to this while it's slipping away. All that we needed tonight, are people who love us and lie, je sais les douleurs et les doutes, et partir est ce que on redoute…”
(the French words meaning “I know pains and doubts, and leaving is what we fear”)

Being that I was already tipsy, those words hit me, and I started thinking about how much I missed my family. Kevin stared at me for a few seconds, than stood up and said “We’re leaving”, which of course made everybody else think there was something going on between us, until one of the girls decided to come with us. We stepped out, me always without saying a word, to find ourselves under a pouring rain in chaotic downtown Paris. Helene, the other chick, was way drunker that I was, so I let Kevin hold my hand, I didn’t care about gossip, I needed something to hold on to. As soon as Helene asked to wait for her while she bought cigarettes, Kevin hugged me and inquired “What’s wrong baby? Is it because you cannot see your parents next weekend?”
I quickly exposed my fears, he hugged me once more and tried to calm me down. Helene came back, and I took the underground to my hotel, I didn’t feel like going out anymore, and I needed to check this damned matter.

As soon as I stepped into my room, I called my love, my dear Killer Smile, to ask him to check on the internet. When he confirmed my fears, I just started crying like a baby, I couldn’t help. He was very supportive, but I knew it wasn’t fair to put all this burden on him, so after a few minutes I excused myself and I hung up. I called the Sponsor (aka daddy), and with him I really cracked down. I kept weeping until he proposed to take his Friday off, drive the whole way and come to pick me up: at this point, I realized I was exaggerating. But I couldn’t help, this thing hit me in a sudden: I was not going to be able to go visit the Parents whenever I wanted anymore. Going home twice per month? It was over. Having the certitude of being able to go and see them at any minute, if anything was wrong? It was over. Seeing my nephews grow up, week after week and not only three times per year? It was over. And, it hurt like hell.

My cell phone rang, it was Kevin who wanted to check on me. I didn’t feel like talking, so I didn’t pick up but texted him instead. He was concerned about me, I explained him what I had just found out and so on.

On the next day, I went back to town…