Random thoughts

It's snowing, and fucking cold.
This morning, it was 12° and the sun was shining, I wore a light silk white suit and opened shoes with no socks, and happily headed out. By noon it was raining and windy. And now it's below zero and snowing.
And I know I always say I love snow and so on, but tonight it sucks, also because KS has to go to the airport tomorrow early in the morning, and I worry about the highway.

At work, I'm on a project I'm hating.
Every morning, all around me are familiar, worn out faces, in a worn out dataroom. I get up early, go to work, and feel like I'm going nowhere. It's too frigging cold to go running, and my ankle hurt pretty badly (no clue why).

Tomorrow the Sponsor will go to see the doctor, who will probably recommend some more chemio, and I hate that he's going through this (and I cannot even be by his side).

Finally, I keep eating, and, to look stunning as I used to, I should lose 6 kilos, but I don't think I am able to do it right now.

Things will get better, I know it and need to hold tightly to this idea.

Before moving to France, I never called the Parents or granparents, unless something had to be said.
Every day, during my daytime, I collect anedocts to tell the Panther, and every night I call her and discuss happy matters like books, recipies, family matters and so on. We talk half an hour or so, every night.
And this only makes me feel just a little tiny bit less guilty for not being there with them, for them.
Forgive me dad, for not being by your side. I think about you all the time, every day, with my mind, I'm with you.