If God will send his angels...

Things have been busy and complicated, lately…

Ten days ago or so, I called home and the Panther wasn’t there, so I got to talk to the Sponsor who spoke “freely” (he never talks about his health problems with the Panther, since he doesn’t want to worry her). This was great, but it really scared me: after a few minutes he started crying on the phone!! And this is so unlike him I got really really worried.
The thing is, in addition to his health problems, he works way to much and he’s really too tired to keep up with things.
The Sponsor is a cardiologist, and the problem is that he cannot manage to refuse to help anyone who is sick and reaches for him. Which is a great thing, but now, after 9 month of treatment which are giving him a lot of side effects, is tiring him.
Luckily a managed to go home on the next weekend and cheer him up a little, but I’m still worried about him.

Last weekend we celebrated KS weekend, and we had 15 people over for Saturday night (8 staying for the whole weekend), and the party itself went great. I had baked a beautiful cake (I’ll try to post a pic later this week) and prepared lots of food and booze, and everyone seemed happy.
However, KS and I had a MAJOR argument.
After the party we went out and headed to a local pub known for dancing on tables and on the bar. Since getting in can be difficult, we split into small groups and I got in first with Maria and another friend. A song I really like was playing, lots of people were dancing, and I immediately climbed on the bar and started dancing, while watching at the door at the same time, in order to spot the others as soon as they got in and wave at them.
2 or 3 minutes later (I’m sure it was no more than that, because the same song was still playing) KS got in and gestured at me to get down to the floor. I did so carefully, in order not to fall, and as soon as I was stood next to him he shouted at me (I didn’t get a word though, since the music was loud) and then pushed me against the door. Only, he pushed me real hard, and I almost lost my balance, and then he grabbed my arm (and I had bruises on the next day).

Now, I’ve been taught NEVER to let a man raise his hands on me, and he really scared me. Add a little drunkenness, the fact I was tired and everything, and I burst in tears. Instead of excusing himself, KS started arguing with me, because apparently the others did not manage to get in to the club and I made everyone wait (but I know for sure I didn’t stay in for more than 4-5 minutes).
But the thing is that I felt humiliated and pushed and I got scared, and so I broke down and we made a scene in front of everyone.
In the end he asked forgiveness and promised he won’t ever do it again, but he still made me feel guilty for making a scene. We tried two more clubs but they were too busy to get in, so we ended up going back to our place and I went straight to bed. The rest of the weekend was okay, but…

Add to all this that I’ve been working 12 to 15 hours every day for the whole month (and it’s not going to change for at least 2-3 weeks), and most of the time I’m working 2 hours drive from the city. This is not living, it’s surviving.

And if God will send his angels, I could use them here right now...