Hey, what's up?

I still have troubles believing this is happening. Or maybe it’s just a whole big nothing and I’m overthinking, I dunno. I cannot talk to anyone about this, because I don’t have friends who were involved in this 7 years ago, and I cannot talk to the Panther about this, although she knows the whole story. Because the Panther is way too individualist to really understand I care about this. I am individualist as well, that’s true, but not to her extents.

So here I am, blogging about this, knowing too well that I should just shut the fuck up.

Over Xmas KS and I had coffee with Emi, who has changed his looks so much I almost failed to recognize him. Even weirder, he looked so… appaised, if you get what I mean. Whatever.
We had some nice chat, and I couldn’t avoid asking him about Polish Chick. So he told me about her, and between other things about her comics being on the web. (Yes, PC has always been a hell of an artist!).
I let the informations digest in my head and in my heart until yesterday, and then I googled her.

Sure enough, I found her blog, and I couldn’t stop reading until I reached the last post.
And, since I can’t seem to shut the fuck up, I left a comment. I knew (hoped?) she would understand who had commented, but I didn’t think she would have managed to trace this blog, which she did (smart chick!).

Rereading the post I wrote in November I realize over all these years, the news I had about her were surely biased given the source. And thinking about mere facts that I know have happened for sure, I think the girls must have had real guts to work out things, and make up her own life. She surely has not been spoiled as I have been.
(okay, I had tough times as well when I moved here, but it was my own choice)

And now what am I supposed to do, to say?
Damnit, I’m such an emo!!!!

Okay, I’ll take things as they come. I’ll try to, at least. For the sake of everything we had and everything we both still have.

And I’ll enjoy this song I love:

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away..

What I’ve done
I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done