Gimme the strength

I still haven’t made up my mind about the blogging issue… But I have no probs posting this.

I have been trying to lose weight, recently.
Let’s just say that, when I started this blog, I was at my best shape EVER: I’m 5 ft 6, and I was 110 lbs, fit and fucking good looking. If ypou really want to know, I have been thinner following an illness (around 100 lbs), but I don’t look good that thin (my face looks old)
I’ve been up to 141 at the end of 2008, because of a lot of things:
- I did not train as much as I should, for a while
- I’ve been on cortisone for quite a while in 2008
- Mostly, because I lived with KS so long and cooked for him every single night, and had three full meal every day, something I never experienced in my life but for those 2 years of living together.
Since I moved back to Italy I lost 8 lbs, and I want to lose at least 10 more. As long as I’m working, it ain’t that hard. I hit the gym at least 4 mornings a week, I often add some exercise in the evening at home, and I’m starting to go swimming at noon at least once-twice a week this week.
I don’t buy a lot of food, I try to eat salads (no sauce) and one or two fruits at work, and in the evening I try to skip altogether. At least when I don’t go out, unluckily when you go out you have to order something to drink, and Light Coke isn’t considered acceptable (plus if I drink coke at night I’m not able to sleep).
But it works, even though it’s hard, I have to wake at 6 every morning to hit the gym, and then I go to work and I cannot just doze, especially since I’m a manager now, and I have tons of responsibilities.

So what am I complaining about?

I go at the Parents’ place almost every weekend, and that’s where I fuck up. Because the Panther cooks, cooks, cooks. Because I can stay on tracks as long as I’m at my place with nothing to eat in the fridge, or even when I go out (I don’t like eating out), but I crave the Panther’s food.

That’s my sin.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes I do resent KS for my being fat. I wouldn’t, really you know? Only, he always points out when I get an extra pound, and let’s just not talk about the last 3 months I spent in France, when each time we ate in public he would repeatedly point out that I ate and looked like a cow.

But it’s not his fault, it’s mine and I shouldn’t be such a bitch. I’ll just go home and do some cardio, squats and all the shit.
Because it works and I need to stay focused.
Stay thin, DDgirl.

Dear readers,

I still have to make up my mind about whether continuing the blog or not.
I am aware that my posts were probably more interesting in the beginning, and I know that I used to post way more often than I do now.

Should I go private, I’ll let you know so that those who want can have access.

I’m still elaborating, and all I can say for sure is I’ll let you know as soon as I make up my mind.

Thank-you for your comprehension

DDgirl

Mumble

I fucking need to post and I can't because I'm afraid KS might be reading.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
Dear boyfriend why did you have to be so nosy???
Argh

Dilemma

Dear readers,

I'm fine and back to work after a well deserved Easter vacay.

However, I may stop blogging altogether and erase the blog. This is because KS found some files on my notebook with a few entries and snooped them. So now he knows my nickname, knows enough to be able to find this blog if he wants to. Should this happen, our relationship would be greatly affected.

I'm allowing myself a little time to think about it, because KS English isn't that great, so it would take him days anyway just to go through a few entries, but I still have to make a decision.

Suggestions?

Drugged

Tuesday night I went out for drinks with a friend.

And I have been drugged.

You know the kind of thing that always happens to other people? Well, sometimes they happen to you as well.

I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t drink, I had tequila shots. But not so many, it just does not justify what happened.
When we decided to call it a night, the barman gave us a round of free shots. This should have warned me, because it’s very unusual around here. Furthermore, he kept asking me questions like where did I live and so on.
Anyway we left the bar and a few minutes later I passed out in the street. My friend brought me home, but couldn’t wake me up until yesterday morning. In the meanwhile I puked several times, but luckily he stayed and took care of me.
Yesterday I was still sick, and I couldn’t stay awake for more than a couple minutes at a time.

Luckily, after sleeping until this morning, I finally woke up feeling good, although my home is a total freaking mess!

Happy Easter everyone!

Tequila Tuesday

I could not hang out with Sexy yesterday night.
On Monday morning (around 3AM) an earthquake shook the centre of the Italian peninsula, destroying building and killing over 200 people. Up here in the North we were not concerned at all, but Sexy, who works as a geologist, was called in the morning and had to go there for work (I think he’s testing the lands where building were not destroyed in order to tell whether it’s safe for people to move back in).
I kind of admire him because let’s face it: he’s sleeping in a tent, no available bathrooms, it’s pouring rain, and he’s helping out.
With a little bit of luck however he’ll be back by Thursday night, so we have tentative plans.
Oh, and do you think I stayed home like a nerd because Sexy cancelled on me? Don’tcha worry for DDgirl, I still went for drinks with another friend…

Another thing I’m doing with Sexy sometime soon will be some white water rafting and a day of canyoning, but that will have to wait another month or so (or it will be waaay to cold!). Spring has arrived, the weather is beautiful and I’m making a ton of plans: with some colleagues we’re thinking about spending a weekend sailing from Naples to Capri in July!
Furthermore, in September KS and I will go to Sicily for one week for Gaia and Mark’s wedding (double yay since I’ve never been to Sicily!!)

On to family business… the Sponsor broke some bone in his shoulder fifteen days ago. Since he refuses to stay at home from work and to have his shoulder plastered, or at least to wear bandages, he isn’t getting any better. On top of it, this means our mountaineering ski season is over, and he’s frustrated about it. Of course I’m not glad either, but accidents happen, and I’ll do some sailing!

An old friend just summoned me for tonight: it’s his birthday and he ended up last minute in Milan all alone… So I’m just officially calling for TEQUILA TUESDAY!!!

I won't miss a thing

So yesterday night Sexy called me, we talked for an hour or so and decided we’re going for drinks next Monday, and I can’t wait to see him!!!!
I missed Sexy so much, I haven’t seen him since KS and I got together, but now that we only live half an hour away from each other we’re definitely going to hang out together more often!

Of course we both are aware that we’re only seeing each other as friends (no benefits as long as I have my KS!), but I already know that Sexy knows how to make me feel hot even without hitting on me… and I love him for that!

The weekend in France was really cute! It rained all the time, but KS and I took our time to chill, cuddle together and enjoy a great wine tasting (and spend a fortune buying tons of wine... I know…). His parents were very nice as well, and altogether time flew (okay, enough lovey dovey).

Today I’m starting a new project at work… It’s gonna be pretty intense because it’s my first job as a manager, and of course I’m stressed about it. The good thing is that the guy who will be assisting me seems to be a nice guy and pretty smart, so hopefully I’ll be able to rely on him for all the easy tasks so I can concentrate on the bigger issues!

I still haven’t talked about my new colleagues, but I’ll do it soon... It’s just that I’m always pretty worn out, between unpacking all my stuff, waking up most of the mornings at 6 to hit the gym before going to work, skiing all the weekends and going out at night during the week.. I’m not complaining, I’m loving my life, but by the time I go to bed at night I haven’t the slightest energy left in me!!