I AM a bastard. And you?

So, Maria needed to be taken care of, and of course that’s what I did, although, what do you tell to a broken heart?
The most sincere comment I ever got was from a colleague, a nice one, when B. and I broke up. He told me: “You know it, it’s hard. But guess what? It won’t get easier. No, it will keep hurting in time, weeks will pass, summer will come and you’ll no longer go on holiday with him, and you’ll keep staying out at night, after work, to avoid your empty apartment. No, don’t trust to those who tell you it will soon get better, ‘cause it’s not true”.

I thought at the moment (at I still do now) that he was right.
Anyway, I didn’t feel like handing out this to Maria, so I just listened and offered compassion and company. At least I hope so.

Meanwhile, in my own head, I was thinking about what a vile thing he had done. And then, as I’ve recently re-read “High Fidelity”, by Nick Hornby, I thought about the 4 worst things I’ve ever done to a man (no matter if the “he” of the moment ever found out or not).

1 - I’ve cheated on my first BF while he was in love with me
2 - I’ve been sleeping for a while with two guys who were best friends one to the other (never both at the same time!!). We would hang out, and if I felt like going home with someone, I would pick up one of them.
3 - Every time I’m in love, I find the BF mob phone and read all his messages (usually it’s me who gets hurt)
4 - I spread at my previous office a rumour about one of the interns being gay. Everybody did believe it.


Those are my excuses:

1 - When I was in love with him, he dumped me (needless to say, he broke my heart: I was 16!!!). Eventually, he came back and my family pushed me to take him back, but I was so angry I made out with another guy while he was on holiday. By the way, later on, I discovered he cheated as well during the same holiday.
2 - I have no excuses, but no feelings were involved, they were just bed buddies. And, after a while, I realized that they both were aware and okay with it.
3 - Let’s be serious, who doesn’t?
4 - The guy made out with me one night, after months of flirting, and then turned me down when I asked if he was coming home with me.

So, I’m a bastard, okay.

But, take a minute and think about the few worst thing YOU have ever done to someone of the other sex.

Done?
Okay, so who’s the bastard now?

Men.

So, I spent the rest of the afternoon stressing, until the “break-even point”, when I told myself that I was definitely going to be fired due to an unsuccessful mission in Paris, and that I was then going to go back at my parents’ place and start a small restaurant as I’ve been dreaming so long.

I don’t think this way of thinking is so tragic, it’s just that it allows me to step back a little, knowing that anyway I might have a way out, in a worst case scenario, you see what I mean?

Anyway, this whole process went on until the morning after (no paranoia to KS, as we did not talk much that night as he was at a party), when Karine called back saying the mission in Paris was cancelled and that I was to spend this week in Geneva again. Which pretty saved my ass.

I was heading to my parents’ place for the weekend feeling relieved, with nothing in my mind but vague projects about doing some kayak on Saturday, when my mob rang, displaying Maria’s number. As Maria happens to be my closest friend at the moment (and the Best Clubbing/Shopping Mate Ever), I happily answered.
She was crying so hard I had problems understanding what was wrong for a little while.

Her BF had just quit her.

Now, Maria had come to live abroad in order to follow the love of her life (alias ButtHead), who had quit her right after (just like the Little Prince and I, to give you an idea), and she pretty much never dated on regular bases for the two following years.

Then, one night we girls were clubbing (KS was away for work), she met C., who was nice and cute. This was some 5 months ago, and meanwhile they got together, she was introduced to his parents (!!!) and everything. Her only issue was that he is 9 years younger than her (the guy is around 23), but I always told her not to give a damn as long as they were happy together. And they were, as Maria is definitely younger than her age, both physically and mentally.

So apparently the bastard has only just found out her real age, and quit her.

Men.

Come out and play

I feel like I’m going to flip out. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? What if I completely mess up? OMG!

I’d better explain.

I left yesterday to join Hatim, my new colleague, on a job in Switzerland. Everything fine ‘bout this: the job is a bit tough, but we’re dealing with it and Hatim and I go on quite well together. The only shade on the whole situation was that we do not have access to our email while working here.

Only, this afternoon, I got a call from the office assistant, Nathalie, who wanted to tell me about the coordinates of my hotel for the next week.
I had no idea what she was talking about, so she explained I have been planned on a job in Paris. Okay, I said, and who’s coming along?

The thing is, I’m going on my own, which, in this job, is NEVER a good situation. And I don’t feel experienced enough, either.

So, I was already a little blue when I called Karine, the senior manager, in order to be briefed about the job, but there was still a little part of me that was thinking: okay, it must be an easy job, Karine will brief you intensely and tell you exactly what to do, and you’ll manage to make a good job & maybe also a good impression.

Here’s how the call went:

DDgirl: Hi Karine, DDgirl speaking
Karine: Hey, what’s up?
DD: I called you to discuss about next week job
K: yeah, it’s cool, I don’t have much information, but it’s a dataroom, so you go, you make a financial due diligence, and you come back with a report.
DD:..but…
K: Look, I gotta go, anyway I’ll call you around Wednesday to know how it’s going.

And she hanged up.

Gotta go, more in the next entry.

The new team

So, I just started the new job a few days ago. Until now I like it, I like the team and everything.
I guess a little summary of my new colleagues would be useful, no? So, here we go.

Philippe
He’s the big boss, a Partner of the firm. Around 45, grey hair, nice and funny. He really seems the smart one, always asking for each one’s opinion. Love him already.

Karine
Senior Manager, around 35. Definitely a no-nonsense, still a very trendy woman. She’s a tough one, but I like it that way, better be direct than sneaky.

François
He’s the quiet one, and, like me, has just joined the firm.

Hatim & Caroline
They have just one year of seniority more than I do, and we share the same office. So far, they have been very nice and communicative.

Nathalie
She’s the team assistant. Around her 40s, always ready to chat a bit or go for a coffee. As much as she’s a nice person, I think she is maybe a bit lazy, which probably means we’ll stay friends as long as I do not ask her to do anything for me. Still, I may be wrong.

Ali & Jerome
The IT guys. Ali is very sporty and kind, and married. Jerome is very handsome and funny. No wedding ring there.
I’ve been seeing them a lot, as my new notebook keeps bugging.

The great thing is that everyone seems to go along very well. As much as Karine is the diva of the group, she’s a real worker and she’s so much more senior than I am, that there shouldn’t be any problem.

Another nice thing is that, on Thursdays, there is a training coach who come to train those of us who whish so, plus as we’re next to the park I could go running at noon. And I really need it, as I gained a few kilos lately.

Revenge on the French Flagellum

After ruining all of my painting and cleaning, the French Flagellum and his wife (aka my in-laws) spent the night at our old flat, in order to go to buy some wine in the region on the following day.
So I spent the rest of Saturday night not talking, eating my pizza and sending KS body messages about how angry I was, until they left saying they would arrive on the morning after at 9AM.

The fact that at 7:45AM on Sunday morning they were already downstairs at our new flat didn’t help either: we were still sleeping and everything, so I grabbed jeans and sweater and unpacked the coffee machine. And then I started to wonder what the hell where they doing, as we live on the 4th floor, it couldn’t take that long.
And that is when they called on KS’ mob phone, saying they were stuck in the elevator and crying for help.

Instead of dancing, I decided to go to the bakery to buy some croissants and everything for breakfast. When I came back, they were still stuck, but the elevator guy had arrived. I tried to persuade him to leave them inside there a little longer than needed, but he said it was illegal.
Still, it wasn’t before some 3 quarters of an hour they managed to get out, and by that time most of the French Flagellum’s bravado was gone, I was thanked for having organized a nice breakfast and we managed to spend a decent day without stepping on each others’ feet.

Now I’m not enthusiastic to know KS and I are going to visit them at their place on next weekend, but hopefully it’ll be sunny and I’ll spend the whole we lying in sun by the swimming-pool.

And, before that, I’ll have to tell you about my new colleagues! Stay tuned!

The French Flagellum

Finally, I’m back. I’ve been on holiday, and it was great: Crete, where I had never been before, was sunny and warm, with miles of beach and no one as far as the eye could see. I spent one week going to sleep early at night, taking morning walks, and laying in sun (with sunscreen protection all over!!) all day long.

Then I got back to Italy for a few days with my parents, and that’s where things begun to go back to normal.
Firstly, I went to see my dentist in order to have a check-up and a deep cleansing of my yellowish teeth. The guy, who’s been a family friend like, forever, told me I needed to have both my upper wisdom teeth removed.
Needless to say, I panicked a bit, so when he asked me when I would be in Italy, in order to make an appointment, I babbled “I don’t know exactly, you see, I have the new job and everything…” and so on.
I was still trying to find a way out of this situation when he turned handling a syringe.
“Look DDgirl, after all I have another 20 minutes without any client coming, so I can deal with it right now”
And before I had the time to scream NOOOOOOO, it was done.

So that’s how I came back to KS after 10 days of holidays looking like a deformed pig!

Anyway, things with KS went on as always (meaning: we’re in love, all TLC and so on), until his parents came the day we were finally moving.
We had been painting the walls and the ceiling of the living room all Friday long, and, for once, we had managed to do a good job. On Saturday morning we started moving the furniture and all our stuffs, expecting for KS parents to show up to help us, as agreed.
When they arrived it was 5PM and I was exhausted, dirty and nervous: my teeth still ached a lot, and our things felt so heavy!!!
KS was at the new flat, while I was packing a few last things at the old one, so it was only one hour later I discovered that, instead of helping us carrying stuff, KS father was putting on some more plaster on the walls and the ceiling. Like, the walls & ceiling I had been painting all day long, just 24 hours before.

I did note scream at him. I did not throw anything at him, either. But he must have seen the storm in my eyes.
That’s why, from this moment on, KS’ dad, aka my father in law, will be known as “The French Flagellum”.
Stay tuned to read about my revenge!!

Haunting you

I’m back from my mountaineering ski tour, which led me from Chamonix to Zermatt: The Haute Route , known by mountain lovers from all the world, I guess.
It was great, tiring like nothing else I’ve ever tried, especially as the weather kept changing from sun to snow, wind, storms…
I would like to tell you more, but those experiences are difficult to be put into words, and I don’t wanna be boring.

I came back to town yesterday night, and it was great to have KS at the station waiting for me, to make love to him after one week of separation. I do love him, and I’m so glad he’s in my life, I could spend many millions nights in his arms.

But you all know this, I know. Well, I have a spicier thing to tell about.

The Little Prince is in town. I should have known it, because I dreamt I met him last night, but I don’t trust a lot in all what’s “supernatural”, so I didn’t give it a second thought. Plus, it wasn’t a revealing dream or anything, I just dreamt I happened to cross his ways and exchange hellos with him. Nothing meaningful, as you see.
But this morning, when I got to work (two days till I quit!!! Yuppiiee) I crossed L., who happens to be an acquaintance of the Little Prince, and he asked me to join him for a coffee. And the he told me he had heard from the LP, who is in town and would like to see me but doesn’t want to call me as I really turned him down last time he did it. I didn’t respond anything, but smiled. L., who happens to be the less intuitive guy in the world, probably did not realize it was a cruel smile, but who cares. So, when a few minutes later my cell phone rang and the Little Prince called to ask me for lunch, I wasn’t really unprepared. Rather, I was planning things already.

The last words he had told me were still whispering in my head, “If we were meant to be together, that would still be the case”.

I arrived at lunch late, which I usually never do. He looked annoyed, asked me what the matter was.
I said “You left me waiting for you so many times, you can’t complain!” but in a cool way, as if to say “I’m still yours”. The Little Prince spent the next half an hour talking charming subjects, and then started to babble about how he misses me and how he never ever again met a girl like me.
“DDgirl, please, tell me you still care about me. I think I love you”
“Do you?”
“Yes. You know I don’t say this easily”
“Oh yes, I know it. I’ve known it very well for the whole year you kept me hanging, months without a word, never a single compliment, never a “you’re beautiful”, never anything nicer than “meet me outside the hotel”. Thank-you, I’m done with you. And I hope I’ll haunt your dreams for long, so you’ll learn what it means to have to swallow your pride and lose. And now you’ll excuse me, but I have to meet my boyfriend to chose the kitchen for our new home. Take care”.
And I left, letting him pay the bill. After all, he is a noble, so why should he go Dutch with someone so ordinary like me?