I still have troubles believing this is happening. Or maybe it’s just a whole big nothing and I’m overthinking, I dunno. I cannot talk to anyone about this, because I don’t have friends who were involved in this 7 years ago, and I cannot talk to the Panther about this, although she knows the whole story. Because the Panther is way too individualist to really understand I care about this. I am individualist as well, that’s true, but not to her extents.
So here I am, blogging about this, knowing too well that I should just shut the fuck up.
Over Xmas KS and I had coffee with Emi, who has changed his looks so much I almost failed to recognize him. Even weirder, he looked so… appaised, if you get what I mean. Whatever.
We had some nice chat, and I couldn’t avoid asking him about Polish Chick. So he told me about her, and between other things about her comics being on the web. (Yes, PC has always been a hell of an artist!).
I let the informations digest in my head and in my heart until yesterday, and then I googled her.
Sure enough, I found her blog, and I couldn’t stop reading until I reached the last post.
And, since I can’t seem to shut the fuck up, I left a comment. I knew (hoped?) she would understand who had commented, but I didn’t think she would have managed to trace this blog, which she did (smart chick!).
Rereading the post I wrote in November I realize over all these years, the news I had about her were surely biased given the source. And thinking about mere facts that I know have happened for sure, I think the girls must have had real guts to work out things, and make up her own life. She surely has not been spoiled as I have been.
(okay, I had tough times as well when I moved here, but it was my own choice)
And now what am I supposed to do, to say?
Damnit, I’m such an emo!!!!
Okay, I’ll take things as they come. I’ll try to, at least. For the sake of everything we had and everything we both still have.
And I’ll enjoy this song I love:
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies
So let mercy come
And wash away..
What I’ve done
I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!
What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done
Friday, January 09, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
2009: return to the origins
2009 is the year of the big go-back for me. I’m moving back to Italy on February 21, and I’m both very excited and very scared about it.
I arranged with the brotheres (Bro and Crea) that they’re driving to the city on a big van on Feb 20, I’ll cook them a good dinner and on Feb 21 we’re loading all my stuff (not so many things, maintly plants clothes and books) on the van and we’ll be driving aither to Milan (if I’ll have already found a place by that time) or to my Parents if I still don’t have a flat in Milan.
I’m starting to be optimistic, because a girl I know will soon rent her flat which is 2 minutes walk from my office, so I hope to get her place to start, and then I’ll see and look around if I need something bigger.
So I’m scared about leaving the city, about KS and I on a long distance relationship, about working in Milan where competition is stronger and I’ll need to wear suits every day at work, while here unless I have to meet clients I can wear trainers and jeans (and I love this, because at 7AM I’m a f***ing SLOB).
I’m excited about meeting my new colleagues, making new friendships as well as reconnecting with old ones. I’ll be able to ski every weekend from December to June. I won’t have the costant temptation of French pastries right in front of me. I won’t need anymore to justify and explain everyone I’m veggie (Italian food is quite poor of meat). And I know it’s completely stupid, but I’ll be back to the status I was so used to, of successful stunning young woman. Because yes, I am tired of feeling a foreign freak as I very often feel here (and how couldn’t I, when not a day passes without people making fun of my accent?)
Changing subject, Xmas was pretty okay. The Bro’s wife apparently calmed down after the Panther scolded her, everyone was pretty cool and everything went smoothly. I took an eye on the kids, and although it’s true that the little one prefers staying at my Parents’ place that with his own parents, his mother is making some efforts to be better with him.
I was totally spoiled with presents, and I suspect this is a consequence of me announcing I’m going back to Italy. Then again, I totally spoiled all of my family with the gifts I bought them!
We had A LOT of snow, which meant I had to shovel a lot of it, but the Sponsor and I also enjoyed a few great skiing days. KS joined me on the evening of 25, and stayed until the 28, and we had a great time.
We spent New Year’s Eve at our place, with a few friends, and it was nice but pretty uneventful. I know this sounds spinster-ish, but I don’t feel anymore like standing for hours and hours in much too crowded bars, spending too much many and feeling sorry for my feet anymore. I prefer the homely, cozy way!
So happy new year everybody!!!
I arranged with the brotheres (Bro and Crea) that they’re driving to the city on a big van on Feb 20, I’ll cook them a good dinner and on Feb 21 we’re loading all my stuff (not so many things, maintly plants clothes and books) on the van and we’ll be driving aither to Milan (if I’ll have already found a place by that time) or to my Parents if I still don’t have a flat in Milan.
I’m starting to be optimistic, because a girl I know will soon rent her flat which is 2 minutes walk from my office, so I hope to get her place to start, and then I’ll see and look around if I need something bigger.
So I’m scared about leaving the city, about KS and I on a long distance relationship, about working in Milan where competition is stronger and I’ll need to wear suits every day at work, while here unless I have to meet clients I can wear trainers and jeans (and I love this, because at 7AM I’m a f***ing SLOB).
I’m excited about meeting my new colleagues, making new friendships as well as reconnecting with old ones. I’ll be able to ski every weekend from December to June. I won’t have the costant temptation of French pastries right in front of me. I won’t need anymore to justify and explain everyone I’m veggie (Italian food is quite poor of meat). And I know it’s completely stupid, but I’ll be back to the status I was so used to, of successful stunning young woman. Because yes, I am tired of feeling a foreign freak as I very often feel here (and how couldn’t I, when not a day passes without people making fun of my accent?)
Changing subject, Xmas was pretty okay. The Bro’s wife apparently calmed down after the Panther scolded her, everyone was pretty cool and everything went smoothly. I took an eye on the kids, and although it’s true that the little one prefers staying at my Parents’ place that with his own parents, his mother is making some efforts to be better with him.
I was totally spoiled with presents, and I suspect this is a consequence of me announcing I’m going back to Italy. Then again, I totally spoiled all of my family with the gifts I bought them!
We had A LOT of snow, which meant I had to shovel a lot of it, but the Sponsor and I also enjoyed a few great skiing days. KS joined me on the evening of 25, and stayed until the 28, and we had a great time.
We spent New Year’s Eve at our place, with a few friends, and it was nice but pretty uneventful. I know this sounds spinster-ish, but I don’t feel anymore like standing for hours and hours in much too crowded bars, spending too much many and feeling sorry for my feet anymore. I prefer the homely, cozy way!
So happy new year everybody!!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
My psycho family, Xmas
Tonight I’m going back to Italy for a little Christmas vacation! Yay!
Yeah, well, a little less yay, since apparently the Panther and Bro’s wife have put on a huge fight yesterday. The Panther actually spent one hour crying over the phone with me yesterday night.
The whole thing is about my nephew, a cute kid aged 2 everyone is in love with. Of course the kid can be a tornado when he’s playing, but he’s really no brat, and he’s not spoiled.
Recently, kiddo decided he no longer wants to live with his parents and his big sis, instead, he wants to stay with his grandparents (aka, my parents, the Panther and the Sponsor). He actually spends there a lot of time, because my sis in law finds it convenient to drop him all day long at the Panther’s, but even I have to admit that the Panther does NOT spoil him. Like, she won’t let him have snacks between meals, he’ll have to eat what she has cooked for him, and very very little telly is allowed (usually no more than half an hour a week, and even then she checks out the cartoons he’s watching).
I explained this, because we all were a little puzzled when he started showing that he did not want to stay at his parents’ place anymore. And then two days ago the Panther figured out the reason. Apparently she and the Sponsor had stopped by to pick up Sis in law and head to a reception together, and as soon as little kiddo pouted a little saying he wanted to come as well instead of going to bed (it was 9 o’ clock sharp), she started beating the crap out of him and then she locked him in the storage room in the dark.
Now I sure believe that kids do need rules, but this? This is total BULLSHIT!
Anyway, on the next day (yesterday) Sis in law called the Panther telling her she was bored and asking if she could pay a visit. The Panther (needless to say she was furious) told her no, so Sis in law asked her what was up and the Panther told (according to her) all she thinks about her. Which is no nice thing.
So I don’t really want to butt in to this thing, but I’ll sure keep an eye on how things are between kiddo and his mom over the next days, because I do care for him a lot…
On better news, tons of snow came down on the Alps, and on Monday I’m taking the Sponsor to ski, just the two of us, and I’m soooo looking forward to it!!!
Well, that will probably be the last post of the year (unless I get around to post on December 31st), so have a VERY MERRY XMAS and a haooy new year everyone!!!
Yeah, well, a little less yay, since apparently the Panther and Bro’s wife have put on a huge fight yesterday. The Panther actually spent one hour crying over the phone with me yesterday night.
The whole thing is about my nephew, a cute kid aged 2 everyone is in love with. Of course the kid can be a tornado when he’s playing, but he’s really no brat, and he’s not spoiled.
Recently, kiddo decided he no longer wants to live with his parents and his big sis, instead, he wants to stay with his grandparents (aka, my parents, the Panther and the Sponsor). He actually spends there a lot of time, because my sis in law finds it convenient to drop him all day long at the Panther’s, but even I have to admit that the Panther does NOT spoil him. Like, she won’t let him have snacks between meals, he’ll have to eat what she has cooked for him, and very very little telly is allowed (usually no more than half an hour a week, and even then she checks out the cartoons he’s watching).
I explained this, because we all were a little puzzled when he started showing that he did not want to stay at his parents’ place anymore. And then two days ago the Panther figured out the reason. Apparently she and the Sponsor had stopped by to pick up Sis in law and head to a reception together, and as soon as little kiddo pouted a little saying he wanted to come as well instead of going to bed (it was 9 o’ clock sharp), she started beating the crap out of him and then she locked him in the storage room in the dark.
Now I sure believe that kids do need rules, but this? This is total BULLSHIT!
Anyway, on the next day (yesterday) Sis in law called the Panther telling her she was bored and asking if she could pay a visit. The Panther (needless to say she was furious) told her no, so Sis in law asked her what was up and the Panther told (according to her) all she thinks about her. Which is no nice thing.
So I don’t really want to butt in to this thing, but I’ll sure keep an eye on how things are between kiddo and his mom over the next days, because I do care for him a lot…
On better news, tons of snow came down on the Alps, and on Monday I’m taking the Sponsor to ski, just the two of us, and I’m soooo looking forward to it!!!
Well, that will probably be the last post of the year (unless I get around to post on December 31st), so have a VERY MERRY XMAS and a haooy new year everyone!!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Kitchen and I
When I first read Banana Yoshimoto’s novel «Kitchen» I still wasn’t that much into cooking and baking. What I mean is I wouldn’t mind preparing dinner when the Panther was too busy, but I did not either spend any time on food blogs or watching Jamie Oliver shows. (By the way, we’re talking about the second half of the 90s, so Jamie himself was about 20 and probably not yet famous. About the blogs, I’m not even sure they existed already, but you get what I mean right?).
“Kitchen”, however, really struck me, and I kept re-reading it over the years. It is true that when you live in the kitchen, you really know the heart of the family.
One of the common places about Italian people is that we’re all about food. It is not really true, but there are some things that often strike people from English-speaking countries (I know there are exceptions). I grew up without ever eating take-away or delivery food. Or anything bought ready to eat, for that matter. Almost every single day of my life I ahd a dinner (and often a lunch) that either I or someone else at home (mainly the Panther) had cooked. Even now I have a very hard time explaining KS that we are not going to order a pizza or take away, and that he is instead going to help me peel that three potatoes I’m tossing in our minestrone. What I’m trying to say is that somehow I find inacceptable (for myself) not to cook something for dinner. Mind you, I don’t think the others should cook: it’s just that I cannot avoid it.
My first job in a kitchen was in a pizza place in the UK, probably in 1999 (but it may be 1998), and I remember it a something completely crazy and out of control: the place was run by a bunch of Italian guys who were completely crazy (and totally keen on partying until 6AM), andtwisting pizza dough over your head while screaming was not only acceptable, but also encouraged.
While in business school, I lived for a while (almost one year, but I would go home on weekends) at my boyfriend’s parents place. The unspoken agreement was that, since I was the one who came home earlier, I would cook dinner. At this time I started taking an interest in baking, although I was totally unskilled (as at today, I still find it hard to cook in someone else’s kitchen).
Nowadays, Jamie Oliver is my celebrity crush. Every evening I cook dinner for KS and I, and we have guests for dinner at least once a week (but most of the time more often that that). I even bring over a packed lunch at work, and since I’m kind of always trying to shake off a few pounds, most of the time it’s minestrone or some other kind of homemade soup I bring along.
Although I’m vegetarian, I cook meat and fish for KS and for our guests. What I like most is baking. Baking warms up the house in winter, it doesn’t impregnate the kitchen with the smell of food as much as cooking on the stove, and it gives such wonderful looks to the food!!
I am however, waaay better at preparing appetizers and main course, real food I mean, than cakes and desserts. Yet, in September, I had decided I wanted to bake a special birthday cake for my beloved Seb, who happens to be a great rugby fun. This is what I managed to do…
“Kitchen”, however, really struck me, and I kept re-reading it over the years. It is true that when you live in the kitchen, you really know the heart of the family.
One of the common places about Italian people is that we’re all about food. It is not really true, but there are some things that often strike people from English-speaking countries (I know there are exceptions). I grew up without ever eating take-away or delivery food. Or anything bought ready to eat, for that matter. Almost every single day of my life I ahd a dinner (and often a lunch) that either I or someone else at home (mainly the Panther) had cooked. Even now I have a very hard time explaining KS that we are not going to order a pizza or take away, and that he is instead going to help me peel that three potatoes I’m tossing in our minestrone. What I’m trying to say is that somehow I find inacceptable (for myself) not to cook something for dinner. Mind you, I don’t think the others should cook: it’s just that I cannot avoid it.
My first job in a kitchen was in a pizza place in the UK, probably in 1999 (but it may be 1998), and I remember it a something completely crazy and out of control: the place was run by a bunch of Italian guys who were completely crazy (and totally keen on partying until 6AM), andtwisting pizza dough over your head while screaming was not only acceptable, but also encouraged.
While in business school, I lived for a while (almost one year, but I would go home on weekends) at my boyfriend’s parents place. The unspoken agreement was that, since I was the one who came home earlier, I would cook dinner. At this time I started taking an interest in baking, although I was totally unskilled (as at today, I still find it hard to cook in someone else’s kitchen).
Nowadays, Jamie Oliver is my celebrity crush. Every evening I cook dinner for KS and I, and we have guests for dinner at least once a week (but most of the time more often that that). I even bring over a packed lunch at work, and since I’m kind of always trying to shake off a few pounds, most of the time it’s minestrone or some other kind of homemade soup I bring along.
Although I’m vegetarian, I cook meat and fish for KS and for our guests. What I like most is baking. Baking warms up the house in winter, it doesn’t impregnate the kitchen with the smell of food as much as cooking on the stove, and it gives such wonderful looks to the food!!
I am however, waaay better at preparing appetizers and main course, real food I mean, than cakes and desserts. Yet, in September, I had decided I wanted to bake a special birthday cake for my beloved Seb, who happens to be a great rugby fun. This is what I managed to do…
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
December thoughts
Sooooooooooo
I know, long time no posts, nothing really funny happened though, I’ll try to recap a few things.
As I told you, on November 10 I drove to Milan to make final arrangements about the job there, and the partner told me “We’ll email you a contract over the week”.
I waited, waited, waited, then gave his assistant a call, waited some more, and finally emailed him. I guess I need to get back in track with the Italian ways: “within the week” in Italian usually means in a month or maybe more.
So this morning I finalmly got a mail from the Italian partner promising he’ll send me the contract in a few days. I’ll be happy when I’ll have it in my hands, but it’s better than nothing I guess. I should begin working there in the beginning of March, so I plan to move in the end of February. Of course, there’ll be the horrible apartment hunting thing to do, but I don’t want to think about it now.
On better news, KS and I are going to London in 10 days to see my friend Gaia and her boyfriend Mark, and I’m sooo looking forward to it! Can you believe I have lived in the UK for almost 2 years and I have never been in London???!!
On even better news, KS and I are visiting his sister in La Réunion (the island next to Madagascar) in February… thanks to our respective jobs (and to my trips to Italy at the time the Panther was ill) we both have enough points with Air France to flight for free, and since we’ll be staying at KS sis it will really cost us very little money… I’m so excited about taking a break in the sun before moving!!
As most of you I’m trying to figure out Xmas presents, I already got those for the Bro’s kids (paymobil zoo and a drawing board), the Panther (Nike running shoes personalized, present I’m buying together with the Sponsor), a CD player for the Sponsor car (together with the Panther) and KS (ski trousers).
I have something in mind for the Bro, but I need to get it, and I still have no clue for the Granparents…
As you have probably heard about the situation in Thailand, for once I am not overworried about Andrea The Hunter: incredible as it is, he has kept in touch since the beginning of the protest, so I know he’s fine and I’m talking to him almost every day. The whole protest has not prevented him to party like crazy… Which means he’s fine…
I know, long time no posts, nothing really funny happened though, I’ll try to recap a few things.
As I told you, on November 10 I drove to Milan to make final arrangements about the job there, and the partner told me “We’ll email you a contract over the week”.
I waited, waited, waited, then gave his assistant a call, waited some more, and finally emailed him. I guess I need to get back in track with the Italian ways: “within the week” in Italian usually means in a month or maybe more.
So this morning I finalmly got a mail from the Italian partner promising he’ll send me the contract in a few days. I’ll be happy when I’ll have it in my hands, but it’s better than nothing I guess. I should begin working there in the beginning of March, so I plan to move in the end of February. Of course, there’ll be the horrible apartment hunting thing to do, but I don’t want to think about it now.
On better news, KS and I are going to London in 10 days to see my friend Gaia and her boyfriend Mark, and I’m sooo looking forward to it! Can you believe I have lived in the UK for almost 2 years and I have never been in London???!!
On even better news, KS and I are visiting his sister in La Réunion (the island next to Madagascar) in February… thanks to our respective jobs (and to my trips to Italy at the time the Panther was ill) we both have enough points with Air France to flight for free, and since we’ll be staying at KS sis it will really cost us very little money… I’m so excited about taking a break in the sun before moving!!
As most of you I’m trying to figure out Xmas presents, I already got those for the Bro’s kids (paymobil zoo and a drawing board), the Panther (Nike running shoes personalized, present I’m buying together with the Sponsor), a CD player for the Sponsor car (together with the Panther) and KS (ski trousers).
I have something in mind for the Bro, but I need to get it, and I still have no clue for the Granparents…
As you have probably heard about the situation in Thailand, for once I am not overworried about Andrea The Hunter: incredible as it is, he has kept in touch since the beginning of the protest, so I know he’s fine and I’m talking to him almost every day. The whole protest has not prevented him to party like crazy… Which means he’s fine…
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Coming around again
November 11 is a national holiday in France (commemoration of the end of World War 1), and in accordance with French traditions, KS and I took a looooong 4 days weekend.
We drove to Italy, in order to see my parents, and I also had a meeting with the partner in charge of HR in the Milan office.
So on Monday morning I dressed up a lot (black suit, 4 inch suede boots and my fave white coat with a white fur neck) and I drove to Milan.
(Why did I drive? Because both trains AND local trasports, tube, everything was on strike. Note to self: you will endure this A LOT once in Milan)
The meeting went GREAT. The partner was very friendly, and he’s sending me the agreement to sign over the week. I still don’t know the exact amount I’ll be gaining, but we talked briefly about it and my hopes are high. I’ll start there on March 2, 2009.
A part from that the weekend was pretty uneventful. We played games, went for walks, enjoyed a bit the Bro’s kids, talked a lot with the Parents. The Sponsor has turned out to have a chronic illness affecting his bones that lets him in ache, but he’s on meds and he feels better (still, he’s taking so much cortisone, if I took all that cortisone I would probably fly instead of run).
Something completely different and unexpected happens… It needs a bit of flashback to be explained.
Since I was a little kid (6 years old or so) I had a very close friend who also was the son of a friend of the Panther, we’ll call him Emi. Growing up we spent a lot of time together, and I missed him a lot when he left for one year for the USA, when we were 17. He was a total geek, but an adorable one, great at telling stories (and making up stories also!), great to exchange books and movies and stuff. Anyway, in high school I had a best friend who was a half Polish half Italian chick, and to make long story short, one day I introduced them to each other, since I thought they had things in common. They got together and I was glad about it, we would do a lot of things together and so on.
When we left for college, Polish Chick and I soon got into a HUGE fight, and for weeks I could not understand why. Then one day on the train I met Emi, and he was as friendly as usual, so we chatted and I avoided talking about Polish Chick, figuring out it was an issue between her and I and it would have been unfair to have him take a position. This until he got a call from her: as soon as he mentioned we met on the train, she hung up on him. He made a face and explained me that Polish Chick was deadly jealous of me.
WTF??? Emi and I never even held hands!!!! And I was so NOT into him, I mean, he’s totally not my kind and they had been together for 2 years or so! Plus, if I had been attracted to him in first place, I wouldn’t have introduced the two of them the way I did!
Anyway, Emi tried to be nice, but soon enough I lost touch with him as well, because what’s the point in being friend with someone who is not even allowed to wave you hello if you cross in the street? I still had news from time to time of the two of them, by Emi’s mother who would tell the Panther, but that’s it. Also, at the time it really hurt losing both my best friends at once, and I really felt lonely for a while (until I made friends with Andrea The Hunter, at least). Even once the pain was over, I always regretted those two friends who were not cool and to whom I could talk about geek things like fantasy books or weird movies, with whom I could dream of adventures for a whole afternoon in an abandoned garden…
Almost seven years have gone since the fight, and a couple of days ago, he asked me as a friend on Facebook. A bit weirded out, I immediately checked his status: single. He had got on Facebook 3 days before, and I was his 5th friend.
So to resume things, we were best friends for 13 years, then his girlfriend forbid him to talk to me for almost seven years, and as soon as they split (because apparently they just broke up) he contacts me. Is it me or this whole thing is a little weird? Makes me thing of the Guns’n’Roses song:
“But it’s been 14 years of silence, it’s been 14 years of pain; it’s been 14 years that are gone forever and I’ll never have again!!”
The worst thing is that I worry about her. Over the years I heard through the grapevine a lot of things: that they didn’t see friends anymore ‘cause she was jealous of everyone, that she totally depended on him. Even worse, I know that her parents fled the country because they were so in debt they had everything taken away, since they both had stopped working, and apparently they disappeared somewhere in Eastern Europe and even her did not have any more news from them.
This people dumped me seven years ago, erasing years spent together just with a few words, telling me they did not need me, and here I am worrying about them…
We drove to Italy, in order to see my parents, and I also had a meeting with the partner in charge of HR in the Milan office.
So on Monday morning I dressed up a lot (black suit, 4 inch suede boots and my fave white coat with a white fur neck) and I drove to Milan.
(Why did I drive? Because both trains AND local trasports, tube, everything was on strike. Note to self: you will endure this A LOT once in Milan)
The meeting went GREAT. The partner was very friendly, and he’s sending me the agreement to sign over the week. I still don’t know the exact amount I’ll be gaining, but we talked briefly about it and my hopes are high. I’ll start there on March 2, 2009.
A part from that the weekend was pretty uneventful. We played games, went for walks, enjoyed a bit the Bro’s kids, talked a lot with the Parents. The Sponsor has turned out to have a chronic illness affecting his bones that lets him in ache, but he’s on meds and he feels better (still, he’s taking so much cortisone, if I took all that cortisone I would probably fly instead of run).
Something completely different and unexpected happens… It needs a bit of flashback to be explained.
Since I was a little kid (6 years old or so) I had a very close friend who also was the son of a friend of the Panther, we’ll call him Emi. Growing up we spent a lot of time together, and I missed him a lot when he left for one year for the USA, when we were 17. He was a total geek, but an adorable one, great at telling stories (and making up stories also!), great to exchange books and movies and stuff. Anyway, in high school I had a best friend who was a half Polish half Italian chick, and to make long story short, one day I introduced them to each other, since I thought they had things in common. They got together and I was glad about it, we would do a lot of things together and so on.
When we left for college, Polish Chick and I soon got into a HUGE fight, and for weeks I could not understand why. Then one day on the train I met Emi, and he was as friendly as usual, so we chatted and I avoided talking about Polish Chick, figuring out it was an issue between her and I and it would have been unfair to have him take a position. This until he got a call from her: as soon as he mentioned we met on the train, she hung up on him. He made a face and explained me that Polish Chick was deadly jealous of me.
WTF??? Emi and I never even held hands!!!! And I was so NOT into him, I mean, he’s totally not my kind and they had been together for 2 years or so! Plus, if I had been attracted to him in first place, I wouldn’t have introduced the two of them the way I did!
Anyway, Emi tried to be nice, but soon enough I lost touch with him as well, because what’s the point in being friend with someone who is not even allowed to wave you hello if you cross in the street? I still had news from time to time of the two of them, by Emi’s mother who would tell the Panther, but that’s it. Also, at the time it really hurt losing both my best friends at once, and I really felt lonely for a while (until I made friends with Andrea The Hunter, at least). Even once the pain was over, I always regretted those two friends who were not cool and to whom I could talk about geek things like fantasy books or weird movies, with whom I could dream of adventures for a whole afternoon in an abandoned garden…
Almost seven years have gone since the fight, and a couple of days ago, he asked me as a friend on Facebook. A bit weirded out, I immediately checked his status: single. He had got on Facebook 3 days before, and I was his 5th friend.
So to resume things, we were best friends for 13 years, then his girlfriend forbid him to talk to me for almost seven years, and as soon as they split (because apparently they just broke up) he contacts me. Is it me or this whole thing is a little weird? Makes me thing of the Guns’n’Roses song:
“But it’s been 14 years of silence, it’s been 14 years of pain; it’s been 14 years that are gone forever and I’ll never have again!!”
The worst thing is that I worry about her. Over the years I heard through the grapevine a lot of things: that they didn’t see friends anymore ‘cause she was jealous of everyone, that she totally depended on him. Even worse, I know that her parents fled the country because they were so in debt they had everything taken away, since they both had stopped working, and apparently they disappeared somewhere in Eastern Europe and even her did not have any more news from them.
This people dumped me seven years ago, erasing years spent together just with a few words, telling me they did not need me, and here I am worrying about them…
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Mama I'm coming home
I’ve been waiting to find a way to write this for almost a week. But I did’t come up with anything good, so I guess I’ll just have to jottle it down someway.
The Milan office hired me.
*me doing happy dance*
I’m going down there on Monday to sign a few papers (and to discuss benefits), but it’s done and confirmed, I’ll start there in March.
I am really glad, because lately my office SUCKS big big time, and I really wanna drag my sorry ass out of here…
The Parents were so happy that the Panther went almost histerycal. Then they asked me 10 millions questions (like which part of the city are you going to live in, when are you going to hunt for apartments, what are you going to keep of all the stuff you have in France, blah, blah, blah). Then they went histerycal again.
And honestly? With the Sponsor not going well and all these things going on, the mail of confirmation couldn’t arrive in a better moment!
KS was happy for me, we had of course discussed the thing before I officially applied for Milan, so it didn’t come out of the blue. The plan is that he should move also two or three months after me, to join me, but of course he’ll need to find a job. However, it is likely that he will manage to be transferred within his company (they have a desk in Milan as well), so hopefully everything will go well.
The Parents also promised that they will come over with a truck in order to help me collecting my things and move (or if they don’t feel well enough they’ll have the brothers do it).
I don’t have a lot of rubbish, but my stuff can be described as:
BOOKS. This is the main part of it. I spend thousands (literally) of bucks every year in books, I really read a lot. So, in three years spent here, I have collected A LOT of books, and I have no intention of throwing them away.
PLANTS and FLOWERS. I have a lot of them and love them, and I have no intention to leave them behind (also because KS is NOT reliable when it comes to taking care of plants). Of course a few of them will be offered to friends, but I really want to bring along the biggest and most expensive apartment plants, because anyway I would need to buy new ones in Milan (I hate living in the city, since I’m a country girl I need some green in the house).
CLOTHES. I don’t have tons of them though. And I’m seriously going to take old things to charity and maybe sell a few things on e-bay.
COOKING STUFF. I bake and cook all the time. You may know that I dream about having a catering or a restaurant one day. So I cannot leave this stuff behind, or I’d need to rebuy it. So I’ll have to move a LOT of baking pans and moulds, my cupcake carrier, my kitchen aid,…
Well enough for today!
The Milan office hired me.
*me doing happy dance*
I’m going down there on Monday to sign a few papers (and to discuss benefits), but it’s done and confirmed, I’ll start there in March.
I am really glad, because lately my office SUCKS big big time, and I really wanna drag my sorry ass out of here…
The Parents were so happy that the Panther went almost histerycal. Then they asked me 10 millions questions (like which part of the city are you going to live in, when are you going to hunt for apartments, what are you going to keep of all the stuff you have in France, blah, blah, blah). Then they went histerycal again.
And honestly? With the Sponsor not going well and all these things going on, the mail of confirmation couldn’t arrive in a better moment!
KS was happy for me, we had of course discussed the thing before I officially applied for Milan, so it didn’t come out of the blue. The plan is that he should move also two or three months after me, to join me, but of course he’ll need to find a job. However, it is likely that he will manage to be transferred within his company (they have a desk in Milan as well), so hopefully everything will go well.
The Parents also promised that they will come over with a truck in order to help me collecting my things and move (or if they don’t feel well enough they’ll have the brothers do it).
I don’t have a lot of rubbish, but my stuff can be described as:
BOOKS. This is the main part of it. I spend thousands (literally) of bucks every year in books, I really read a lot. So, in three years spent here, I have collected A LOT of books, and I have no intention of throwing them away.
PLANTS and FLOWERS. I have a lot of them and love them, and I have no intention to leave them behind (also because KS is NOT reliable when it comes to taking care of plants). Of course a few of them will be offered to friends, but I really want to bring along the biggest and most expensive apartment plants, because anyway I would need to buy new ones in Milan (I hate living in the city, since I’m a country girl I need some green in the house).
CLOTHES. I don’t have tons of them though. And I’m seriously going to take old things to charity and maybe sell a few things on e-bay.
COOKING STUFF. I bake and cook all the time. You may know that I dream about having a catering or a restaurant one day. So I cannot leave this stuff behind, or I’d need to rebuy it. So I’ll have to move a LOT of baking pans and moulds, my cupcake carrier, my kitchen aid,…
Well enough for today!
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