I love Bro.
Always have and always will. No matter how jealous of him I was as a kid, no matter the rough patch we’ve had. I don’t care if he kicked me out for the flat that was meant for the two of us, when I was 20, he also rescued me back in 2003 and let me stay with him and his wife for months. I would love him just as much if none of these things had happened, but I know it can be hard dealing with him.
In time I had to learn he is not always reliable, I had to learn he’s more a taker than a giver. It’s the way he is, and we don’t chose family, so I gotta love him this way.
But now I cannot stand this messy family drama anymore.
Last night I was preparing dinner since I had guests, and I gave the Panther a call just to check in. She was much in distress: yesterday it was Granny’s birthday, and she called in just to find out Bro and Weird Wife had set up a small party for Granny and had not asked the Panther to join.
Besides the fact that this of course was a big matter of distress for Granny as well, the Panther was furious. I tried to calm her as I could, telling her to let go, that maybe Bro did not mean it, but I don’t think I helped in any way.
So I called Bro, and tried to tell him he needs to let go. The Panther doesn’t want excuses, I know her and she’s always been like that. Who cares if she hurts us sometime? That’s no news, she was always that way and she won’t change at 59. But no, Bro needs to TALK about it, and of course she won’t have any of it, and so this whole mess is not going to end anytime soon.
The Panther is in distress. The Sponsor is in distress. Granny and Aunt (the Lerders) are in distress. Bro is in distress. I am in distress. Heck, besides Salomé, the cat, who is having the time of her life because she hates Bro Weird Wife and the Kids, everyone is in distress. There is nothing I can do about it, and those who could do something are not willing to. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a hell of an autumn for the DDfamily.
What I would like to tell them is this: I am the only one who has experimented living far away, for a long time. I am the only one who seems to realize if anything should happen to one of us, we’d have to live with this regret for the rest of our lives. Hell am I the only one who realizes that bad things COULD happen to any of us? Maybe yes. After all, I was the only one who wasn’t there when Pops died, I was on a train on a desperate rush to see him one last time but failed.
They’d only tell me I’m melodramatic if I tried to explain this.
Well, I guess I should focus on positive things: at least, since the kids are spending more time at their home, I’m having my bedroom back!
PS One more update: Crea is coming back! He’ll land on Monday and is staying for three weeks! YAY!!!
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5 comments:
One of the big cons of being half Polish is that my family is far away - now almost the whole of it with my parents living in Warsaw too. But a pro is that we've always realized since the very beginning that family bonds are tighter than we imagine and we have always shared our feelings freely - what if something happens and I'm 1500 miles away?
Friendship is this way for me too - after all, friends are the family we choose :) Love ya, keep your moods high in times of distress, you'll feel the change in others too!
U're 100% right hun...
New Moon on Monday?
Yup. Can't miss it, can I? ;-)
DD, you menioned gotta "love bro this way".
No, you gotta love bro but not "that way". He needs to grow up and get a pair of balls.
Upsetting the entire family has to stop. If he can't invite everyone, then he shouldn't have a party at all.
Good luck he needs counceling to get his anger out and deal with his issues before it DESTROYS the entire family.
@anon: thanx for commenting
But things are never black or white. Who grew up Bro this way, in first place? The Panther. And well, even though I'm on her side on this one, she is not 100% right, unluckily.
It's a mess... let's only hope it can heal..
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