Tuesday, March 23, 2010

...and again. Plus, something incredible

Now, in first place I want to tell you something amazing that happened on Sunday.

I saw three wolves. No, not in a zoo. Free wolves, hunting in the mountains. At no more than 500 meters from us.

I am used to see wild animals, just last Saturday I saw a fox in the woods not far from home, but wolves? I never thought I’d ever see wild wolves in my life.

It was an incredible experience, also because I was skiing and I kept seeing them for a couple of minutes (that’s why I’m so sure they were wolves).

Besides that, the weekend was incredibly exhausting, physically AND emotionally.

Last Saturday I helped the Panther for a tough job: a huge fountain we have in the woods had been, over the last two years, submerged by mud, so we had to dig until it was visible again, and then clean it. Last week I had trained VERY hard, and I was already pretty tired, so this job was pretty much exhausting by itself.
The in the afternoon I ran a couple errands with the Panther, and also bought myself a suit and shoes for the office. We had the grannies over for dinner, and I also stopped by at Bro’s place, so I ended up going to bed without having had a moment for myself, but that was fine because ski touring was planned on Sunday.

And so Sunday morning I woke at 5 (as usual), and went to ski, but the weather was awful and I was feelling sick.
We met the others, and I was relieved to see that B just said hello but did not approach me.
We started hiking, and soon I had to stop to throw up, but at least I managed to do it discreetly and not in front of anyone.

And then we saw the wolves, and that really made me feel better! I kept on hiking, also because we had decided that, given the awful weather, we would just get to the next hut and stop there.

When we got to the hut, I was feeling a bit dizzy, so I stepped right inside thinking I would change my wet clothes. B stepped in right after me, and started talking. He had opened a bottle of beer and (again) offered me some, but I said
“Thanks, but no thanks. Actually I was sick half an hour ago, so no beer for me”
“Sorry to hear that baby”
(Baby? BABY? Who the hell are you calling BABY?)
He went on with small talk, while I took off my sweater, then I realized both my T-shirt and my top were soaked, so I wore my jacket and pulled out my top from underneath (no nakedness in front of B, DDgirl!). I turned around and he was facing me holding a clean sweater
“Here, DDgirl, take my sweater, you’ll be more comfortable”.
“Oh thank-you, that’s not necessary. I’ll put mine next to the stove so it’ll be dry in no time”

(and seriously, B, do you think I’d drink your beer, and then wear your clothes? And then tell me, what would next step be?)

“I insist, wearing windstopper on bare skin cannot be comfortable and I have another clean T-shirt for myself”
“Really B, thank-you but it’s not necessary”

And then I managed to grab all my stuff and get to the other room (where the stove was).

From then on, things declined: I started feeling worse, and the Sopnsor and I soon made our goodbyes, and went home. I felt better for a while and then I plunged into stomach flu, so much that yesterday I called sick at work for the very first time in my life.

This morning I felt way better, so I came to work.

I logged into Facebook and I had two messages, one from an old friend. And one from B.

“How are you? Feeling better?”

Monday, March 15, 2010


Yesterday I drove to the mountains for some good ski-touring with the Sponsor and the ski-touring school crew, as any given Sunday in this season.
We had a great day, sunny weather, a fantastic tour, great snow, and I had a lot of fun with an old friend of mine.

Of course, B was there as well.
When I stepped out of the car, early in the morning, my above mentioned old friend came to greet me and B came along with him, and he was all like:
“Hey DDgirl, how are you doing? You look like someone who’s slept in the car, wake up!”

(seriously? Why would you care?)

I just said “Hey guys, what’s up? Ready to start the hike?”
I mean, I don’t want to be the one who starts drama, so I kept it cool, but still…
Soon afterwards, we were all getting ready and I put on my wool hat, which is a cute warm white funny thing… with soft deer horns on its sides!

People LOVE my hat, and so did my friend, and we cracked a few jokes about how it would help in case of avalanche (with people only having to look for the horns, and so on).
And again B shouted at me across the parking “Oh COME ON DDgirl!!! What do you wanna mean with that hat??”

(In Italy they say that you’ve got horns when someone cheated on you)

I just laughed and said “The Sponsor gave it to me and I love it!”
“Well it is beautiful” he said.

As soon as the Sponsor was ready we left (B was going with another group, luckily), and let me tell you, I was ready waaayyy faster than usually, because this whole thing of B talking to me was so weird.

We had a GREAT day, as I said, plus the ski patrols all made such good comments on my style I may even start to hope to join the touring ski teachers again…. But I don’t want to build too much expectations, we’ll see how things go next year.
The Sponsor also had fun, even though he was a bit tired, and we really enjoyed our day together.

At the end of the tour, in the afternoon, we caught up with the other groups, near the cars, at a small bar with a big courtyard that was cleaned from the snow and really sunny and warm. Since we had gone for the longest hike, we were the last to get there, and I was happy and suntanned. As I was taking my skis off, B came to me and started asking me how the hike was, and then he gestured towards the beer he was holding and said “Want some?”
“eeeeerrrr no thanks, I’m gonna grab some for the Sponsor and I” I said, and I can only hope the tan I got hid my blushing cheeks.

I mean, what was all this fuzz about? He even took my arm in his hand a couple minutes later to catch my attention.
The worst thing was, we first kissed in that same place!

Next Sunday will probably be the last time I see B this year, and I’m fine with that. I don’t want him messing up with me.
I’m not a saint, and I must admit I’d still like some kind of revenge on him, but I know I’d end up being hurt, so I’m just fine with saying hello from a reasonable distance.
Like I said before, back OFF, B.

(In any case, I had an AMAZING day. AMAZING, people)

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


It’s been snowing AGAIN (like, hello? It’s March), and since avalanche risk was too high, I didn’t even go skiing. Okay, it’s probably the first non-skiing weekend in 2010, but still… it sucks! At least I managed to go running with the Sponsor on Saturday, and we ran 10km (6 miles, partly uphill), so that’s a good thing.
Since the beginning of the year, I’ve run more or less 200km (125 miles more or less). How can I possibly be gaining belly fat? The only truth is: I eat like a pig. True, I eat healthy food, but… I just eat too much, and often I eat carbs late at night (hello, overworked DDgirl!). Whatever. I need to stop stuffing my face with bread.
The RUT is here, but aknowledging it is the first step for fighting it. Well, it seems it's gonna be snowing again starting tonight, and that won't help.

On to next subject.

I overheard the parents, a couple of days ago. I didn’t really mean to, they thought I was sleeping and I was just kind of dozing, and I realized they were talking about me.

Panther: “Why can’t she find someone as good as B? B was better for her. Even I liked B.”
Sponsor: “True. B was great, they made a great couple”
P: “So how come she’s with KS now?”
S: “KS may be Mr. Good Enough, he may not be good enough for you, but she’s doing fine.”
P: “She’d be as fine on her own”
S: “Maybe. And maybe not. At least she’s not after B.”
P: “Why would she?”
S: “You’ve never seen when they meet, since he dumped her. She aches badly, when she sees him. And Weird Wife, who keeps talking to him, so DDgirl has to say hello and be civil as well, that drives me nuts. You should have seen last summer, the day she got her frostbites, you would have thought she was already in pain, right? And then we crossed B and his wife. And DDgirl, all of a sudden, she shrink, she didn’t even look them in the eyes. It was like watching someone who gets kicked in their head and don’t react.”

P: “…”

S: “I reckon it DOES go a little better now. It was worst when she found out he got married. But still, my point is, I’m always afraid one day, if she was alone, she might try and go after him. And that’d be really bad. Because, like she managed to have him once, she may still seduce him. But in the end, he’d always go back to the his wife, just as he did before. And that may really drive DDgirl crazy. So leave her alone and don’t talk about B. You know what? I liked B a lot, but it would have been better if he died. We lost her once, he dumped her and she moved abroad. Had he died, she would have made a reason of it.”

I don’t remember anything after that, I think I really fell asleep. I did not remember this, and then this morning I heard “Goodbye my lover” by James Blunt. And I remembered this conversation, and I thought how The Sponsor is right.
Isn’t he always?

Thursday, March 04, 2010


went home from work at 5AM this morning, after 20 hours straight spent in.

it was raining cats and dogs, and when I got there (by bike), the first seller were already preparing for the weekly open-air market in my street. I saw them and thought:


(have you ever been to a Mediterrean open-air market? do you have a clue on how noisy it can be?)

at 7AM I surrended, got up, went to the gym and them I had to come back to work.

Luckily, I have Luis Armtrong purring in my ears that it's a wonderful world!

(and yes, the fact that for two days in a row, the cutest and best looking of my male colleagues intentionaly sat down next to me at the cantine, still managed to cheer me up!)

Wednesday, March 03, 2010


I have an announcement to do.

(no, I’m not pregnant)

(and no, I’m not getting married. Stop guessing silly things!!!)

I am travelling to Nepal, next Autumn.
I’ll be trekking to the ice pyramid (Everest base camp), and up to camp 2, through the ice fall, if I’m really lucky.

I’ll be going there with the Sponsor and a friend whose name I don’t really want write, but let’s say he’s one of the living people who climbed all the fourteen 8k metres without oxygen.

OMG people I’m going to NEPAL I’m so FREAKING excited!!!! I already obtained vacation, and the Sponsor is buying the plane tickets next week (October is high season and the flight to Nepal is always a complicated one, so it’s better to get them in advance).

In the excitement, I resolved paying the 800 Euros fee for another year of gym. I need to train even harder!!

On other news, as usual this days, it’s 11PM and I’m gonna stay in the office for a couple more hours. Of course I came in at 9AM this morning. UGH.

Monday, March 01, 2010

One of these days

Most days, I feel fine. On my own. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad KS is part of my life, but I do fine on my own, I really do. I like living alone, I really enjoy it. I’m glad KS will be the on call I’ll make at night when I step home, but I also like I won’t have to cook dinner, and I like even more no one will complain when I’ll get up at 6 in the morning to hit the gym.

Some days, I’d rather be totally on my own. When KS complains too much about stuff concerning our relationship, especially when I’m so tired I can barely think about setting the alarm for the next morning. When he’s at my place on days off, and I’m working my fingers to the bone, and then I come home and find his mess at my place. Yes, there are days I’d rather be single.

And then there are days when, even for a couple of seconds, or maybe for the whole day, I feel such a deep connection, it pays for the days when we’re grumpy or one of us is a pain in the ass.

There are days when I believe in the two of us. Days when I know no fear. Days when I do love him. Those days may only happen once in a while, but that what keeps me with KS.

You’re still the one I love, baby.

Completely different subject: take a look at this pic I’ve taken on January on a touring ski day!! (Yes, it was awfully cold!!)