So you thought this was a fairy tale

I feel like crying right now.

As most of you, my readers, know, I’ve been training VERY hard, over the last few months, with an objective: doing the Haute Route ski tour. From Chamonix to Zermatt and then to Saas Fee, from Mont Blanc to Cervin (Matterhorn) to Mont Rose, the best mountaineering ski tour of the world. Phisically challenging, I begged to obtain a week off from work, worked miracles to organize everything, trained until my legs would ache badly.

But that was great, you know? Because the Haute Route is always an amazing experience. Even more so because we had planned to do it together, the Sponsor, Bro and I, with a good friend of us who is also a guide.

Work almost fucked up everything, because just yesterday I found out on Sunday 18 I have to leave for 15 days to go to Morocco (and don't even try saying how cool that is because it's FUCKING UN-COOL. It will be 15 working days with no days off, in some stupid outskirt of Casablanca. I hate it already). I rearranged everything in order to be back from the Haute Route on Saturday 17 at latest.

Fighting with allergies that are really kicking me off, I spent the last couple days doing miracles at work in order to be able to leave tonight and be off next week. And the allergies, they’re bad. Yes, all the running helped with the Asthma, but my eyes are always so puffy and swollen, and of course I feel like I have the worst cold ever and have troubles sleeping. And I DON’T WANT to take cortisone this year, because it’s unhealthy, it gives me insomnia and makes me fat. But that doesn’t matter because a week in the snow will halp greatly you know? No allergies up there!
But then of course, today we realized the weather forecasts on that part of the Alps are so bad we cannot possibly leave before Wednesday, because it would be too fucking dangerous. And of course, since I have to be back by Sunday morning in any case, we won’t be able to ski the whole Haute Route.

Is this childish?

Maybe. But I really put so much effort into this, and I’m so tired, I can’t help feeling really sad.


Take me back,
to the rivers of believe,
my friend:
I'll look inside my heart
I'll look inside my soul
I promise you I will return.
(...)
we'll rest our knees, on my rivers of belief