Time for Wednesday Weirdness!

1.) Do you drive with your hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel?
Rarely. I drive very close to the wheel, and prefer keeping hands low (kind of 8 and 5 really). It’s probably also due to my bad blood circulation in hands.

2.) How long do you keep cards given to you on birthdays and holidays before throwing them away? If you don't throw them out, what do you do with them?
It depends how much it touches me. Usually I don’t really keep them long anyway, the only exception being card from my grandparents.

3.) If, when you die, you could will any one of your characteristics to your children (child/future children), what would it be and why?
Honestly? My blue eyes.
But I know you’re waiting for a smarter answer. I’d like for them to have my capacity to be strong when things seem impossible, until I manage to move on.

4.) What is the best personality trait you got from your mother and the best personality trait that you got from your father?
The Panther is the most individualist person I’ve ever met. I might be the second. It’s not nice, I know, but I seem to need other people less than most people I know. Of course I need my family and boyfriend and friends, but I have no problem going on holiday on my own, living on my own, etc etc. Bad, huh?
I whish I had more of the Sponsor’s personality, he’s so good. Of course we share the love for the mountain, and I think I may have taken from him a good part of my strengh.

5.) What is something that you wish you had a better understanding of?
So many things!!! I understand nothing of physics, and still believe that electricity is a Harry Potterish magical thing.

6.) What makes you nervous?
Dieting (which I’m doing right now…)

7.) What is the strangest household object that you have ever or would ever use for help in masturbation?
Household stuff? Bleah…

8.) What do you have sitting on the countertop in your bathroom?
Hair conditioner, Shampoo, hair masks, a brush, two combs…. Yeah, I’m obsessed!!

You say Goodbye, and I say Hello!

I’m a bad, bad, bad blogger. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
I’ve been so busy, and yet I don’t seem to have accomplished anything at all. Last week I went to Paris twice, and I spent there one night, probably the last one. I went out partying with Kevin and I really had a good time, exchanging stories over fruit vodka shots.
I know it’s silly, since I only see Kevin every three months or so, but I’m gonna miss him so much! After all, if I haven’t been miserable in Paris over the last year and a half, it’s only thanks to him. He’s the one always coming to rescue me when I feel lonely, he’s the one waiting for me outside the office when I finish work after 11 PM, he’s the one always walking me to my hotel.
We met again for breakfast, and then we made our adieus…

So yes, I’ve been a good girl. I’ve been knowing Kevin and hanging out with him for one year and a half, and all of this time he has wanted me, and man, he’s cute, but I’ve ALWAYS been 100% faithful to my sweet KS, and I’m glad I have. But I’m still a bit sad because after all Kevin has been such a good friend, and I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again!

Moving to another subject, I have exchanged a few mails with Polish Chick (I know you’re probably reading, and I hope you don’t mind the nick name, when I first wrote it I was in a hurry and I didn’t want to write your real name, so I couldn’t come out with anything easier).
Needless to say, it was pretty emo, and we still have tons of stuff to talk about, after all, we have to catch up so much! But I think we’ll meet once I’ll be back in Italy, and then we’ll see where things will lead us from there.

And now, dear readers, the reason of the title. A few months ago I wrote about my big brother, Crea, who came back living into my parents’ small town, and I was so excited about going back and being the three of us together again (Bro, me and Crea).
So this won’t be happening any time soon, because Crea couldn’t find a job thanks to the recession, so he signed up to work 6 months in Maldive as a scuba dive master. I’m glad for him, and proud also, because he took things into his hands instead of sitting on his ass at home, but I’m soo disappointed about not being able to see him for 6 months!!!! (right now, I cannot afford Maldives)
Still, he’s been so nice, telling us he has already set a skype account and packed a webcam so we can make free video calls, so that we’ll be able to keep in touch on regular basis.

Last and definetly not least, I have no clue about how the hell I’m gonna find an apartment in Milan. But hey, cities are full of bridges to sleep under, huh?

Hey, what's up?

I still have troubles believing this is happening. Or maybe it’s just a whole big nothing and I’m overthinking, I dunno. I cannot talk to anyone about this, because I don’t have friends who were involved in this 7 years ago, and I cannot talk to the Panther about this, although she knows the whole story. Because the Panther is way too individualist to really understand I care about this. I am individualist as well, that’s true, but not to her extents.

So here I am, blogging about this, knowing too well that I should just shut the fuck up.

Over Xmas KS and I had coffee with Emi, who has changed his looks so much I almost failed to recognize him. Even weirder, he looked so… appaised, if you get what I mean. Whatever.
We had some nice chat, and I couldn’t avoid asking him about Polish Chick. So he told me about her, and between other things about her comics being on the web. (Yes, PC has always been a hell of an artist!).
I let the informations digest in my head and in my heart until yesterday, and then I googled her.

Sure enough, I found her blog, and I couldn’t stop reading until I reached the last post.
And, since I can’t seem to shut the fuck up, I left a comment. I knew (hoped?) she would understand who had commented, but I didn’t think she would have managed to trace this blog, which she did (smart chick!).

Rereading the post I wrote in November I realize over all these years, the news I had about her were surely biased given the source. And thinking about mere facts that I know have happened for sure, I think the girls must have had real guts to work out things, and make up her own life. She surely has not been spoiled as I have been.
(okay, I had tough times as well when I moved here, but it was my own choice)

And now what am I supposed to do, to say?
Damnit, I’m such an emo!!!!

Okay, I’ll take things as they come. I’ll try to, at least. For the sake of everything we had and everything we both still have.

And I’ll enjoy this song I love:

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away..

What I’ve done
I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

2009: return to the origins

2009 is the year of the big go-back for me. I’m moving back to Italy on February 21, and I’m both very excited and very scared about it.
I arranged with the brotheres (Bro and Crea) that they’re driving to the city on a big van on Feb 20, I’ll cook them a good dinner and on Feb 21 we’re loading all my stuff (not so many things, maintly plants clothes and books) on the van and we’ll be driving aither to Milan (if I’ll have already found a place by that time) or to my Parents if I still don’t have a flat in Milan.
I’m starting to be optimistic, because a girl I know will soon rent her flat which is 2 minutes walk from my office, so I hope to get her place to start, and then I’ll see and look around if I need something bigger.

So I’m scared about leaving the city, about KS and I on a long distance relationship, about working in Milan where competition is stronger and I’ll need to wear suits every day at work, while here unless I have to meet clients I can wear trainers and jeans (and I love this, because at 7AM I’m a f***ing SLOB).
I’m excited about meeting my new colleagues, making new friendships as well as reconnecting with old ones. I’ll be able to ski every weekend from December to June. I won’t have the costant temptation of French pastries right in front of me. I won’t need anymore to justify and explain everyone I’m veggie (Italian food is quite poor of meat). And I know it’s completely stupid, but I’ll be back to the status I was so used to, of successful stunning young woman. Because yes, I am tired of feeling a foreign freak as I very often feel here (and how couldn’t I, when not a day passes without people making fun of my accent?)

Changing subject, Xmas was pretty okay. The Bro’s wife apparently calmed down after the Panther scolded her, everyone was pretty cool and everything went smoothly. I took an eye on the kids, and although it’s true that the little one prefers staying at my Parents’ place that with his own parents, his mother is making some efforts to be better with him.
I was totally spoiled with presents, and I suspect this is a consequence of me announcing I’m going back to Italy. Then again, I totally spoiled all of my family with the gifts I bought them!

We had A LOT of snow, which meant I had to shovel a lot of it, but the Sponsor and I also enjoyed a few great skiing days. KS joined me on the evening of 25, and stayed until the 28, and we had a great time.
We spent New Year’s Eve at our place, with a few friends, and it was nice but pretty uneventful. I know this sounds spinster-ish, but I don’t feel anymore like standing for hours and hours in much too crowded bars, spending too much many and feeling sorry for my feet anymore. I prefer the homely, cozy way!

So happy new year everybody!!!

My psycho family, Xmas

Tonight I’m going back to Italy for a little Christmas vacation! Yay!
Yeah, well, a little less yay, since apparently the Panther and Bro’s wife have put on a huge fight yesterday. The Panther actually spent one hour crying over the phone with me yesterday night.
The whole thing is about my nephew, a cute kid aged 2 everyone is in love with. Of course the kid can be a tornado when he’s playing, but he’s really no brat, and he’s not spoiled.
Recently, kiddo decided he no longer wants to live with his parents and his big sis, instead, he wants to stay with his grandparents (aka, my parents, the Panther and the Sponsor). He actually spends there a lot of time, because my sis in law finds it convenient to drop him all day long at the Panther’s, but even I have to admit that the Panther does NOT spoil him. Like, she won’t let him have snacks between meals, he’ll have to eat what she has cooked for him, and very very little telly is allowed (usually no more than half an hour a week, and even then she checks out the cartoons he’s watching).
I explained this, because we all were a little puzzled when he started showing that he did not want to stay at his parents’ place anymore. And then two days ago the Panther figured out the reason. Apparently she and the Sponsor had stopped by to pick up Sis in law and head to a reception together, and as soon as little kiddo pouted a little saying he wanted to come as well instead of going to bed (it was 9 o’ clock sharp), she started beating the crap out of him and then she locked him in the storage room in the dark.

Now I sure believe that kids do need rules, but this? This is total BULLSHIT!
Anyway, on the next day (yesterday) Sis in law called the Panther telling her she was bored and asking if she could pay a visit. The Panther (needless to say she was furious) told her no, so Sis in law asked her what was up and the Panther told (according to her) all she thinks about her. Which is no nice thing.

So I don’t really want to butt in to this thing, but I’ll sure keep an eye on how things are between kiddo and his mom over the next days, because I do care for him a lot…

On better news, tons of snow came down on the Alps, and on Monday I’m taking the Sponsor to ski, just the two of us, and I’m soooo looking forward to it!!!

Well, that will probably be the last post of the year (unless I get around to post on December 31st), so have a VERY MERRY XMAS and a haooy new year everyone!!!

The Kitchen and I

When I first read Banana Yoshimoto’s novel «Kitchen» I still wasn’t that much into cooking and baking. What I mean is I wouldn’t mind preparing dinner when the Panther was too busy, but I did not either spend any time on food blogs or watching Jamie Oliver shows. (By the way, we’re talking about the second half of the 90s, so Jamie himself was about 20 and probably not yet famous. About the blogs, I’m not even sure they existed already, but you get what I mean right?).
“Kitchen”, however, really struck me, and I kept re-reading it over the years. It is true that when you live in the kitchen, you really know the heart of the family.

One of the common places about Italian people is that we’re all about food. It is not really true, but there are some things that often strike people from English-speaking countries (I know there are exceptions). I grew up without ever eating take-away or delivery food. Or anything bought ready to eat, for that matter. Almost every single day of my life I ahd a dinner (and often a lunch) that either I or someone else at home (mainly the Panther) had cooked. Even now I have a very hard time explaining KS that we are not going to order a pizza or take away, and that he is instead going to help me peel that three potatoes I’m tossing in our minestrone. What I’m trying to say is that somehow I find inacceptable (for myself) not to cook something for dinner. Mind you, I don’t think the others should cook: it’s just that I cannot avoid it.

My first job in a kitchen was in a pizza place in the UK, probably in 1999 (but it may be 1998), and I remember it a something completely crazy and out of control: the place was run by a bunch of Italian guys who were completely crazy (and totally keen on partying until 6AM), andtwisting pizza dough over your head while screaming was not only acceptable, but also encouraged.
While in business school, I lived for a while (almost one year, but I would go home on weekends) at my boyfriend’s parents place. The unspoken agreement was that, since I was the one who came home earlier, I would cook dinner. At this time I started taking an interest in baking, although I was totally unskilled (as at today, I still find it hard to cook in someone else’s kitchen).

Nowadays, Jamie Oliver is my celebrity crush. Every evening I cook dinner for KS and I, and we have guests for dinner at least once a week (but most of the time more often that that). I even bring over a packed lunch at work, and since I’m kind of always trying to shake off a few pounds, most of the time it’s minestrone or some other kind of homemade soup I bring along.
Although I’m vegetarian, I cook meat and fish for KS and for our guests. What I like most is baking. Baking warms up the house in winter, it doesn’t impregnate the kitchen with the smell of food as much as cooking on the stove, and it gives such wonderful looks to the food!!
I am however, waaay better at preparing appetizers and main course, real food I mean, than cakes and desserts. Yet, in September, I had decided I wanted to bake a special birthday cake for my beloved Seb, who happens to be a great rugby fun. This is what I managed to do…

December thoughts

Sooooooooooo
I know, long time no posts, nothing really funny happened though, I’ll try to recap a few things.

As I told you, on November 10 I drove to Milan to make final arrangements about the job there, and the partner told me “We’ll email you a contract over the week”.
I waited, waited, waited, then gave his assistant a call, waited some more, and finally emailed him. I guess I need to get back in track with the Italian ways: “within the week” in Italian usually means in a month or maybe more.
So this morning I finalmly got a mail from the Italian partner promising he’ll send me the contract in a few days. I’ll be happy when I’ll have it in my hands, but it’s better than nothing I guess. I should begin working there in the beginning of March, so I plan to move in the end of February. Of course, there’ll be the horrible apartment hunting thing to do, but I don’t want to think about it now.

On better news, KS and I are going to London in 10 days to see my friend Gaia and her boyfriend Mark, and I’m sooo looking forward to it! Can you believe I have lived in the UK for almost 2 years and I have never been in London???!!
On even better news, KS and I are visiting his sister in La Réunion (the island next to Madagascar) in February… thanks to our respective jobs (and to my trips to Italy at the time the Panther was ill) we both have enough points with Air France to flight for free, and since we’ll be staying at KS sis it will really cost us very little money… I’m so excited about taking a break in the sun before moving!!

As most of you I’m trying to figure out Xmas presents, I already got those for the Bro’s kids (paymobil zoo and a drawing board), the Panther (Nike running shoes personalized, present I’m buying together with the Sponsor), a CD player for the Sponsor car (together with the Panther) and KS (ski trousers).
I have something in mind for the Bro, but I need to get it, and I still have no clue for the Granparents…

As you have probably heard about the situation in Thailand, for once I am not overworried about Andrea The Hunter: incredible as it is, he has kept in touch since the beginning of the protest, so I know he’s fine and I’m talking to him almost every day. The whole protest has not prevented him to party like crazy… Which means he’s fine…