Old confessions from The Hunter

I got a message from Andrea the Hunter, yesterday night. I was sleepless, and he had just got out of bed in Bangkok, so we ended up chatting a bit on FB. We talked about Eivind. I don’t think I ever mentioned Eivind, but back in grad school the three of us were inseparable. We’ve already talked about Andrea, and Eivind is a guy from Norway who came to Italy for grad school. We met by chance, and we used to spend all out time together, and with our three blond heads and pairs of blue eyes most people thought we were all Scandinavian.
Back in that year, I had a stable boyfriend, but Andrea hinted several times that Eivind was interested in me (he never made a move, but it could be because he knew I was not on the market).

At the end of grad school Eivind met a Swedish girlfriend (that Andrea hates) and went back to Scandinavia. By that time Andrea had already moved to Thailand; however we had a fight over the Eivind matter. It turned out Andrea saw us as his “backup family” of a kind, the place he could always go back to. Therefore, he always hoped Eivind and I would end up together. When Eivind left, I guess his dream kind of shattered, and he blamed me, and it took him a while to get over it and move on, which of course he eventually did.

When he came back after the Tsunami and he stayed at my place, we did a lot of talking. I remember this one I noted in a diary on the same night we had it. (please read the post about the Tsunami if you hadn’t, or it will look weird).

Andrea was thanking me for taking care of him, and then he said: “It’s funny how, even now, you still support me. After all of the things that I’ve done, when even my own family doesn’t care that much, you’re so good to me! You waited patiently, yet when I got upset with you, you still had to ask me if I cared about you.”

“I never said I was perfect, Andrea. But it seems I still managed to take you home”

“I’ve walked on shells to come here, it’s been tough, but now that I feel better, I can see you’ve changed as well. You are still beautiful, but you have changed. You’ve got you life and your job, you’ve got different problems now. I regret fighting with you about Eivind. You were doing well with your boyfriend, and Eivind wanted to go back to Scandinavia.”

“You know very well Eivind cares a lot about you, Andrea. And that I do, as well. It is always you the one that disappears. You’re the one who charmed us and went away! Now we’re no longer students, we grew up and set our lives, but neither Eivind or I ever forget about you. It was hard for us to accept your choice to live in a completely different way. It is not something we could have done ourselves, even if we wanted to. Eivind does not come from money, and even I do not own enough to live like you, but even if we were rich…. We wouldn’t live like you. And it IS hard to always worry about you. In a way, it’s easier for me, because you tell me things that you keep from Eivind for fear of upsetting him.”

“Sometimes I pray for a miracle, DDgirl. Deep down, I don’t know what I’d do if you had indeed chosen a lifestyle like my own: you are my anchor, my safe port. Even if Eivind went away. I don’t think this will ever change”



And that was it. I think it may represent the only time Andrea expressed warm feelings in the last 10 years.