Just because you feel good (doesn't make you right)

A while ago, Laurent, my favourite ex-co-worker (and ex manager), told me he had issues with his wife and had moved out. This was pretty sad, because they have two little kids and they were an adorable couple (ok, I’ve always had a crush on Lolo’s wife: she was everything I wanted to be!).
A couple of weeks ago I called Lolo and he told m he though his marriage was really over, and he went on explaining me how bad he felt about it: I always considered Lolo as a good man, he was always so full of attentions for his wife, so I believed him.

Tonight he called me because he knows I’ll be in France soon and wanted to set a day to hang out together. And then he dropped the bomb.

“I want to introduce you somebody”
I waited for him to go on, holding my breath.
“She’s your age, you know? We could meet for drinks on Saturday night, with your boyfriend. And then we could hang out, just the two of us, I mean, on Monday, so we can talk properly, and you’ll tell me what you think about her. But I’m sure you’ll like her”.

Like her? What are you, crazy? I hate her already.
Because the only reason that kept me from tearing your clothes off when we were in Norway, from thinking about you 24/7, back when I hadn’t met KS yet, was that I loved your wife.

That night in Norway, you wanted to rip off my sundress as much as I wanted you to. Instead, we hanged out watching the sunset, reinforcing our one year old friendship, telling us shameful stories and getting tipsy on white whine, while watching a sunset that lasted for hours.

Now this was a long time ago, years already. We’re still good friends, although we don’t work the same job, don’t live in the same country anymore, we keep in touch and we miss each other. Last summer Lolo had planned with his family to travel to Italy and visit me for a couple days; instead, they split in August, so they didn’t go anywhere at all.

Lolo, I want to be a good friend and not a lousy one, so I’ll meet your girlfriend and act nice, although apparently she’s already jealous. Hell, I’ll even tell you I’m glad you’re doing fine. Because I do hope you’re happy.
But the truth is I don’t want to meet your girlfriend. The truth is I already hate her.

And the worst part is, if this all makes me so sad, but I'm not sad for me, I'm sad because I enjoyed so much hanging with your wife, she is such a beautiful person. I'll never forget, when I would date a new guy, you would offer advice on sex and such matters, she would offer advice oon what to cook for him (and how), it was so much fun!

But I swear, I’ll behave. I'll be a good friend.


(I really wish you would be reading, my friend. I miss you so much. I know these are hard times for you, and I truly want to give you all my support. I'll do my best, I promise, again.)