So good and so sad

I went back to France, spent quality time with KS, and met Lolo’s new girlfriend.
And then I hanged out with Lolo, just the two of us, for hours and hours.
Then I came back, just to dive in an insane DDworld following this daily schedule:
6.00 AM: wake up
6.30 AM leave home, ride my bike to the gym
6.50 AM threadmill for 40 minutes, quick shower, stuff my face with fresh orange juice
8.00 AM get into the tube and go to work
8.30 AM work (lunch break from 1.30PM to 2.00PM)
Sometime between 11.00PM and 2.00AM: go home, throw all clothes on the floor, throw myself in bed.

And then again, and again, and again, day after day. So I neglected my blog as well as my friends, family, cat… everything. Hell, this is so insane I even have a HUGE spot (which is rare for me).
Whatever.

What I want to write about, is Laurent.
As I said, we chatted for hours at Starbucks, and it was so intense. We talked so much, and he asked me some questions about the first weeks I had spent in France back in 2005. I told him something I had buried deep in my heart and not talked about for years, and when I was done he was in tears. Lolo, who always wants to “save” those around him, told me he never had suspected anything like that (we first met shortly after that dark episode), and then I explained him how he had helped me even if he had not known it. After all, he was my first real friend in France.

He told me all about his girlfriend, and about his marriage, and I understand how hard it must be for both him and his wife. What worried me most, however, was that when I told him “Look Lolo, this Blondie really seems into you, so try and be happy with her”, his answer was
“That is the problem, DDgirl. Blondie is great and I care a lot about her, but I don’t feel I could be really happy with her”

It was a strange day, intense, as I said. It felt so good to be able to hang out together and talk about old times, and at the same time, talking about his problems and my old stories was so distressing!
In any case, I’m really glad we could catch up like this. It also made me remember why we became such good friends in first place: because he’s such a good man.

KS was a little sick over the weekend, he had a bad cold and everything, so I did my best to pamper him as much as I could. It was good to spend some time just the two of us, without doing anything special, just cuddling, drinking warm tea and so on.

This is for my beloved boyfriend!

So happy Christmas,
I love you baby,
I can see a better time,
when all our dreams come true.