PMSing

I'm really in the blue, I hope it's because I'm totally on PMS.



KS is on vacation with friends, at the end of the week he's coming back and we're both heading to Italy, where he's staying one week and I'm staying two weeks.



Work is boring lately, plus although I had a good increase (+15%) I had less than half of the bonus I was expecting, and this is really depressing considering the times I have been working over 1é hours per day this year.

I mean, once I have paid the tax in September, my bonus will be gone, so it feels more like a joke than like a remuneration for my efforts.



Even worse, I have the impression that no matter what I'll do, I'll be in need of dieting and training for the rest of my life, and it makes me feel awful.





I really have no desire of going out with my friends who would surely complain about their ex boyfriends. But at night, I realize that I haven't done a single thing I have enjoied during the day, literaly I spend my time working, running and thinking about food I must not eat. Reading a good book or watching a good movie (I do both before sleeping) IS NOT ENOUGH to make me happy right now.

The weather is grey, wet and hot, maybe I need the storm to break, and my period to come.

Or maybe I need a new life

60 things (stolen from Shelly and PCS)

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Mmm I walk… I mean, I do drive but I don’t own a car!

2. When was the last time you threw up?
No clue… a few months ago.. I don’t puke when I’m drunk, but as soon as I eat something that is not perfectly healthy or so, I puke it…

3. What's your favourite curse word?
Mmm I swear in Italian… but I should really stop it

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
KS, Michele (former colleague) and Sexy

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
I was varnishing the parquet of the bathroom (no kidding)

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
I was walking to work!

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
I’ll probably be painting the second layer of varnish on the parquet

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yeah, and it was B.O.R.I.N.G.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
I talked to KS on the phone, so it was “je t’embrasse, a plus” (like I kiss you, c u later)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Hazelnut and chocolate!! But I’m on a diet, sniff sniff

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Special Ks and half skimmed milk, for breakfast

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Ouch… I bought a cute dress for a gala dinner I have on August 15, and also a skirt for work (but the latter only costed me 10 Euros: hey, sales are on!) oh, and a swimsuit for the Panther

15.When was the last time you ran?
Yesterday about 6 miles (10km)

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I really don’t watch any sport

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
The Sponsor (aka Dad)

19. Ever go camping?
Yes. The best time I was 18 and left with both my Bros, heading to Austria: we had planned 1 week and we only came back after 2 months!!!

20. Do you have a tan?
Yes, because I spend outdoor as much time as possible (otherwise I’m as white as milk)

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Nope

25. What did your last IM say?
It was work related (I only use IM to talk to colleagues located in other cities, mostly Paris and Milan)

26. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes, Maria!

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
I hope to work as little as possible. I’ll sure go running. And I’d like to go to the movies

28. Where is your mom right now?
Home. Which means, in another country, far away

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
My mess on my desk

30. What color is your watch?
Iron and lilac

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
I think it must be nice but it’s really too far away….

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
I don’t think so. But I dream of losing my fat without efforts!!!

33. What is your birthstone?
No clue!!

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Drive thru practically don’t exist around here, hey, Southern Europe is all about slow food!!

35.How many kids do you want?
I don’t know yet

36. Do you have a dog?
No, but when I was a kid I had a huge Saint Bernard (my parents bought it for me, and he really was my personal bodyguard)

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
KS (boyfriend)

38. Have you met anyone famous?
I don’t think so

39. Any plans today?
Meet KS who needs to hit the sales to buy a few things (but I’m not buying anything today!!)

40. How many states have you lived in?
“States” doesn’t mean anything around here.. But I have lived in Italy, England, Switzerland and France

41. Ever go to college?
Done!

42. Where are you right now?
At my desk at work, but not for long LOL

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Having to decide when to move

44. Last song listened to?
The rhythm of my heart, by Rod Stewart, while working this morning (I’m such a loser!!)

46. Are you allergic to anything?
All kind of pollens, some seafood, absinth, metals

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Jogging shoes!!!!

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Sometimes I’m jealous of Andrea the Hunter, but I don’t think he’s happier than me

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
Yes…. Hey, that’s life!

51. What time is it?
Time for lunch!

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes.

53. Do you eat healthy?
Almost always

54. What do you usually do during the day?
I work, I run at noon, I go home at night, cook dinner, feed KS and then we do something together (a game, a film,…)

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Not really

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yes

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
27 (but not until June 2009). It’s freaking me out.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
what's that?

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I fell from a rock and got 15 stitches on the head. Luckily it’s completely hidden by my hair!!!

A thought for the one who is BRAVE

Although this is not an international news, and it’s very likely that no one but a few Italian readers know about it, today my mind is focused on Pakistan.

During the week, an Italian expedition has tried to climb a new route on the Nanga Parbat, which is considered one of the hardest mountains in the world (with the K2), although “only” the 9th highest peak.
The chef of the expedition (Karl Unterkircher) has died yesterday, leaving the other two members (who are way less experienced) alone and in trouble. They are alive for sure, and today they were reported to be at 7,000mt, but they’re apparently in difficulties and have only climbed up about 4,000mt in the whole day.

I happen to be friend, through my dad, with one of the 6 men in the world who has climbed all the 8,000 without oxygen, whose nickname is Gnaro. We’re friends, because he’s from the same place I’m from and he’s a nice guy, who sometimes took me climbing when I was a teenager.
In our area (the Mont Rose) he has a reputation which is not only related to his climbing ability. He has rescued a lot of people in the Alps, people who were in danger or badly hurt. He is known to be the one who will manage to go where no one else has dared to, in order to save someone. He has also rescued a few people on the Everest (took a Russian guy downhill by himself once, carrying him on his shoulders fro 8,100 to the camp), and he saved a Spanish climber on the Nanga Parbat in 2005 (she lost her toes, but she’s alive thanks to him).
I myself, when in doubt about the conditions of the mountain and therefore wondering whether to climb or not somewhere with my skis, always ask him his opinion. A few years ago I was freeriding in the middle of a snow storm, when I thought I heard something, and then met Gnaro and three other guides, with trained dogs: a guy was reported as missing and lost in the storm. I had crossed him while I was still climbing up, and so they asked me to join them and two hours later we found the guy: I was so proud I had been able to help him!!!

Now I’d like to say that this man has now finished his 8k career. He’s turned 50, has climbed the last 8k last year, has a wife and two kids. He still works in the rescue corps in the Alps, and it’s already dangerous enough.

Yesterday morning he has been called concerning the two climbers currently in difficulties on the Nanga Parbat, and yesterday afternoon he caught a flight to Islamabad and is now at the base camp of the Nanga Parbat: tomorrow, together with another guy, they’ll try to rescue the expedition.
Mind you, they won’t get paid for this. They won’t get any benefit, they’ll only manage to risk their lives (and the risk is material) in the hope of saving the two others’ ones.

I’ll think of them and hope with all my heart that all goes well. And I’ll be proud of sharing my origins with these guys, no matter if they’ll manage to rescue the expedition or not.

You're a braveheart. Tonight, and tomorrow, Gnaro, my heart will be with you.

One step too far

Last weekend I went back to my Parents’ place, and it wasn’t easy.
Besides from the usual feelings (each time it’s harder to leave when it’s time to come back to France, and so on…), the Sponsor is NOT feeling good.
As much as he may act as if everything’s all right, he actually has also appendicitis and the beginning of a hernia.
He also has had problems with a leg muscle mast week (enough to be using crutches for a week or so.
Not to mention that today he’s going to the hospital for another chemo treatment (the 7th since he begun them in December), which won’t be the last.
Oh, did I mention that the man is too stubborn to stay home on sick leave, and instead goes on working 10 hours (sometimes 14) shifts (he’s a doc in a heart hospital)?

Just in case you forgot the DDfamily is all made of crazy people…

So my issues about being here, far away and everything, get stronger and stronger.
KS does not understand what I’m going through, mainly because:

1. He thinks that if my father was really feeling bad he would stay home (but he doesn’t know him like I do, of course: I’m the perfect daughter for my father after all, going to the office when I’ve got over 100F of temperature..)

2. He’s French, meaning that if his parents are sick, it’s their problem. KS isn’t a bastard, it’s just that down here they don’t have the same concept of family we have in Italy.

So while I dream of moving, he has started fixing the bathroom (new shower, new floor, new lining on the walls…)

I am clearly not moving by September as I had originally planned, because I was hoping I could work things out and wait to move ‘till KS is ready to do it. But time flies, and we only live once, so by the end of the year decisions will have to be taken. I only need the guts to do it.

99 random things

Everyone is doing it, so…

99 random things about me:

1. My nickname refers to my job: I work in Due-Diligence, and there are very few girls in this job
2. I sure do not have double D bra size…
3. My family is small but complicated
4. I’m Italian but I live in France
5. I have an older brother (Bro) who is 31
6. Bro is married to the German, and they live in Italy
7. They have two kids (3 and a half and 2 years old)
8. I miss my family
9. My Parents are 58 and 59 years old
10. They are not as healthy as they used to be
11. And I worry about them a lot
12. I would like to move in with my Parents
13. And it’s weird, because I left when I was 18 and at that time I just wanted to go away from them
14. I love KS, my boyfriend
15. But sometimes I don’t think we will last
16. Because I can’t spend the rest of my life here
17. Wherever I’ll go, I’ll be missing someone
18. I hate this
19. I’ve been engaged for one year
20. When B. dumped me, my family was very very supportive
21. But I left and moved here, because I couldn’t stand things
22. Although I make mistakes, for me it’s the same to speak English, French or Italian
23. I also speak a little German and Spanish
24. And a few words of Portuguese and Greek
25. But I think knowing a language is only useful if you’re fluent. Otherwise, it’s pretty useless
26. I’m listening to “Hotel California” performed by Gipsy Kings
27. When I was younger I spent a lot of time in England
28. I think it was almost two years
29. I used to think I wanted to live in England
30. Today I wouldn’t move to England for anything in the world
31. Because I want to live in the Alps
32. Freeriding and mountaineering ski are probably my favourite activity
33. There is no pain that I cannot forget when I’m skiing in the middle of nowhere and it’s snowing
34. One winter, when I was in grad school, I skied over 90 days
35. Because in the alps you can do mountaineering ski until May, sometimes until June
36. I love Italian food
37. My Mom is the best cook in the world
38. I dream to quit my job and open a catering near my Parents’ place
39. My family is pretty wealthy
40. But they rely on me for everything that is not money
41. My Parents used to be very independent people
42. Now they do almost nothing without at least consulting me
43. They don’t do this with Bro
44. Bro relies a lot on me as well
45. Although I’m the youngest and I live abroad
46. I think it’s because they get old
47. It scares me
48. In Italy, most women take care of their parents and have them move in with their family when they’re old
49. I think this is great
50. I don’t want my Parents ending up alone, or even worse in a hospital
51. I love baking
52. I love Rod Stewart when he sing “never will I roam, for I know my place is home”
53. I learn songs by heart just by listening them once or twice, and never forget them
54. As long as they’re in English, Italian or French (sometimes German)
55. I wish it was that easy for me to learn more useful things
56. I always sing
57. This can be very annoying for other people
58. I had my first kiss at 14
59. I was in England
60. He was Spanish
61. I had sex for the first time at 16
62. With Leo, my first boyfriend
63. We’ve been together for one year and a half
64. We are in good terms and I think he’s a great guy
65. I slept with too many boys
66. I’ve tried drugs
67. I don’t regret it
68. But I wouldn’t do it again
69. I think I’ll never really completely get over B.
70. And I really hate his wife
71. But this is my worst secret
72. I should lose weight
73. But I find it hard while living with my boyfriend
74. I only have one real friend around here
75. I miss my Italian friends
76. I’m going to escape from the office for an hour or so
77. Because I really want to buy those pink cargos I saw on sale
78. I’m a bit vain
79. And I like when a guy checks me out
80. I need holidays so badly
81. I could spend the whole day reading and laying in sun
82. I want to go back to Italy badly
83. I’m only here because of my boyfriend
84. I wonder if it’s worth it
85. I used to be a hard rebel kid
86. It’s weird, because today I think my family is the most important thing in the world
87. I feel conventional
88. I have red stains on my right hand since this morning
89. It’s an allergic reaction, but I dunno to what
90. It seems dirty
91. I love animals
92. I own a cat and a goose. They both answer when called by name
93. They stay at my parents’ place. There are also 3 donkeys, hens, a rabbit, a turtle and my brother’s dog.
94. I still miss the dog I had, a Saint Bernard my Parents bought me when I was a little kid, he died when I was in college
95. He really was my bodyguard
96. KS father is arriving at our place tonight
97. He’s staying 3 days
98. And I don’t know what to cook
99. So I totally need to go to the supermarket!

Have a nice day, I hope you aren’t bored to death!

Deadly sins TMI!!!!

1. LUST: Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?

Mmmm I dunno if you like this answer, but the truth is, I occasionally lust for Sexy. It’s not like I really want him (I totally could have him any moment), it’s just a memory or a fantasy. I think is also because sex with him has always been great fun!!

2. GLUTTONY: What food brings out your inner glutton?

French fries!!!! But I’ll never manage to say no to good, homemade Italian pasta!

3. GREED: What are you greedy for?

Shoes. I never buy expensive shoes.

4. SLOTH: What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth?

By the lake, at Parents’ place, sun tanning, reading, occasionally bathing in the lake, and aperitif at my neighbour (always by the lake)

5. WRATH: Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone.

I don’t often let my anger out…

6. ENVY: Who or what do you envy? Why?

Girls with a better looking body than mine…

7. PRIDE: Have you ever had to swallow your pride? What are you proud of?

The worst time, of course, was when B. dumped me. I ended up moving, so much I couldn’t stand the situation.

Still, I am proud of how I did in life so far anyway.



PS on SEXY

Last night Sexy sent out one of those mails with questions about yourlself, to fill in with your details and circulate to your friends. Some of his answers (he sent the same message to 10 friends):

Who is the sexiest person you know? DDgirl
Who is the weirdest persont you know? DDgirl

I totally adore Sexy!!!!!

Sick!

For once, I have a better excuse for not posting that work.
You do believe me, don’tcha?

I’ve been awfully sick, and by awfully I mean that on Tuesday morning (4 AM) my temperature was 103.7F. Needless to say, with my usual chance I was home alone (KS was away for work). It took me almost 15 minutes to crawl to the bathroom to get an aspirin, and then crawl back in bed.
So I spent most of the week crawling from bed to work (I had a deadline I couldn’t miss) and from work to bed. The great thing in all this is I lost two kilos, which I was so trying to do!!!

Anyway, I don’t have anything interesting to say, so I’ll give you a bit of Wednesday Weirdness, even if it’s Thursday…

1. Do you ever do your own fireworks show in celebration of the 4th of July? Do you go watch a display somewhere else? How do you celebrate?
In Europe July 4 doesn’t have any special meaning… I my hometown there are great fireworks by the lake at August end, and when I was younger my Bros, me and a bunch of friends would pile in our small boat with beers to enjoy the show.


2. Do you ever buy extra fireworks while you can to stockpile and have extras packed away for whenever you feel like using them?
I don’t like private fireworks, because too often in my country they caused fires or they hurt people.

3. Would you ever get anything below the waist pierced?
No frigging way!!!

4. Would you ever join the military?
No frigging way!! And by the way, dating someone who is in the army is a big no no for me. I don’t want to be involved with anyone who has a gun, or who needs a gun to do his job.

5. What is your favorite kind of cheese?
I LOVE ALL kind of cheese, and since I live in France I can have plenty of different cheese!! My fave right now is “buche de chevre”, but I’m also mad about Pecorino

6. What are three things are you terrible at?
Ironing
Teaching
Being nice when I feel awful

7. Do you always wash your hands after you use the restroom?
Yes (at least I hope I always do!)