And the winner is...

So, can you guess who’s my date for Thursday night?
I bet you have no clue!!!

So, I was at work when Laurent, my favorite and very married manager arrived at noon. After swimming and Jap lunch (puah!! I’m sick of living on veggies and boiled rice!! I want some cheese!!!) we went back to work and I crossed Nicolas, who was cool but kept the distances.
Merde! My ego started instantly working on me, and after half an hour I was a bit depressed of having another week without a single, decent date. Laurent watched me stepping into his office, a lollipop stuck into my month (not soooo professional, but it works), and started inquiring.
“What’s up babe? Who did you go out with in the weekend?”
I tried to stay cool, and focused on all the sport I’ve been making over the weekend. He didn’t take a word of it.
“So, what’s up with Nico?” (I might have hinted, on a drunk in the Netherlands, that we hanged out).

2 minutes later he was stepping pout of his office: “Follow me”
He rushed into the staffroom on the other side of the building and stopped by Nicolas.
“So Nico, can you manage to finish this thing by tonight?”
“Sure”
“Ok, so, later can you take out DDgirl for a drink?”

Oh My God. I only let you imagine how I BLUSHED!

Nicolas reply: “Sure” (turning towards me) “I’ll give you a call right?”

Later he IMed me

NicolasB: hey babe you right?
DDgirl: fine… uh, sorry ‘bout Laurent, dunno whazzup with him!
NicolasB: no probs sweetheart… I’d still like to date you though
DDgirl: ok, cool
NicolaB: but I’m to tired tonight, I need some rest.. how about Thursday
DDgirl: ok, keep in touch

I signed off, and Laurent gave me a lift home as underground’s on strike.
Did I mention I adore Laurent?

Freak out

Office gossip is higher than ever.
Today Tabbie, worst manager ever, started teasing me about a picture of me in a disco, that apparently was circulating on the internal network.
He teased to the point I freaked out.

I freaked out because I have some blanks about the night with Nico, back in September, and I worried it could be something really hot to handle.
As Tabbie is detestable, as soon as he realized I was worried about it, he took the teasing to a higher and higher level. I immediately texted Laurent (fave manager and spiritual guide ever), who called me right back and calmed me a bit, although he could not do any magic.
Only in late afternoon someone emailed me the pic, and it wasn’t half that awful: it was taken ages ago, and all that you can see is me and a guy (only his back, plus is not a coworker) dancing together. Okay, he’s kissing my cheek (almost my neck), but I mean, WTF????

The good thing is I found out the bastard who sent it all around. The guy, known as Sharky, actually asked me out a few months ago and I thanked and said no. I confronted him (via mail, as I’m stuck in Nowhere Land, in case I had not mentioned that already), and he answered in a much too proud way.
So, I decided to act really bitchy, and handed all over to Laurent. His answer:

From: Laurent
To: DDgirl

DDgirl,
Tell the little shit that I’ll be more than glad to expose his anti-professional behavior at December evaluation meeting.
How about bringing along Killer Smile to Friday Dinner? That should stop gossip.
Take care
L.

You see why I adore him?
Back to nice things, Killer Smile has been sweeter than ever, and he takes care of me while I’m sick, supports me in everything and does plenty of nice things like lighting candles in his bedroom and giving me half an hour of back massage when I come back from work exhausted and nervous at 11PM.
Plus, yesterday night he dropped the bomb. After making love, he said he thinks he’s falling in love with me.

Miscellaneous thoughts and plans

So, since KS holiday is now in its second half, the countdown till his coming back has begun, and in 10 days I’ll be able to hug and kiss my love!

Just a few minutes ago I spoke to Laurent, ex colleague and good friend, (this link summarize all the posts concerning Lolo, since I haven’t written ‘bout him in a while) and it really felt good to hear the news, the gossip about my old job crew (which is, by the way, breaking apart, but who cares?). Plus, I’ve missed Laurent during the summer, especially I missed having a laugh with him, not to mention his wife’s always precious advices! Anyway we agreed to meet next week for lunch, so we can catch up a little bit more.

In the meanwhile, Maria and I are going out every night this week! Nothing incredible, the schedule is:

Movies on Wednesday
Hammam & SpA on Thursday
Pub and a bit of dancing on Friday
…and on Saturday we’re definitely hittin’ a club, downtown!

Not bad huh? Besides, this is the only consolation for KS being away!

By the way, I have tried to call Andrea the Hunter to see if he wanted to visit for the weekend, but I can’t seem to reach him… Could it be he’s working, for one?

And, we all now both Maria and I will flirt a bit at the club, but we also know that, for me at least, it will be little innocent flirting! Nothing healthier for a girl than seeing guys looking at her appreciatively!

It is now two weeks that I’m eating healthy (and a bit dieting) and I’m doing my gym regularly, and I’m proud to say I’ve lost 2 kilos already! 2 or 3 more to go and I’ll be in my best shape!!

Taking it easy!

At work, we have pretty much nothing going on. Every year, when September comes, there is this weird moment during which everyone is ready to start new missions, the management keeps talking about soon to start projects, and in the end nothing really comes up until the end of the month. It seriously can drive your stress to high levels, but, in time, I learnt to deal better with it. Which means, I basically don’t care and don’t make expectations on what management says at this particular time of the year.

Instead of worrying, on the last two afternoons I totally ditched work and focused on more important issues instead.
First of all, this is the very special time of the year when scouting for boots begins. Remember, there is no such a thing as too many pair of boots: we’re girls, after all!!! Since I’m fond but also fussy on boots, it usually takes me a few weeks at least to find the right pair. Last year I finally settled on black suede, 4 inch stiletto heels, round point, embroidered with delicate flowers on the leg, knee high. After seeking for longer then usual, at November end I found them at an independent small boutique that only charged me 100 Euros! And, they are still totally trendy this year!

This year, however, I’m looking for tanned leather ones. Main features are pretty the same: heels around 4 inch (although I would rather avoid stilettos, just to change), round shape, knee high. Boots that are shorter than my knee happen to make my legs look crooked, or at least I think so.

Yesterday, however, I already took a break from boots shopping, to go swimming with Laurent instead. I glided in water for more than one hour, and it was soooo good!! Seriously, I’m not a great swimmer, but after 20 minutes or so of heating, my motions become as smooth as those of a seal (I know, dolphin would sound better, but I don’t swim THAT wall!).
After all this exercise, we went eating Japanese, and Lolo caught me up with my old office gossip, which was funny: apparently during the annual training in Cannes, held in July, all the guys from the Paris office asked about me while they had totally forgot all the names of my male co-workers. Weird? Hah!

24 hours ‘til KS will step in at home… I can’t wait!!!!

January brings news

Yesterday I called Laurent, to chat a little, and I had a nice surprise. He moved back in with his wife and kids, and it’s over with his girlfriend. Now if you recall my posts on this matter (back in December09), you surely know how this makes me happy.
What was astonishing was his explanation: “You know, DDgirl, after the long talk we had in December, I started thinking about all the things you said. You asked me if I love [his girlfriend] and I realised as much as I wanted to help her with her issues, this wasn’t love. I missed the kids, and as you know I was seeing my wife pretty often, so I started focusing on the feelings I had each time we would meet, and soon I discovered I looked forward to have lunch with her or stuff like that. Now I don’t know where this will lead us. We’re trying to work things out, my wife is still in love with me but I know I caused her so much pain. But we both are in a happier place than we’ve been in the whole 2009, so that’s good”.

Oh, and they also may come to visit me next summer! I’m so looking forward to it!

On other news, KS has passed several job interviews with a competitor of his company, considering the possibility he might build-up his line of service for this company here in Italy. Apparently there are good chances this thing may become true, so it would mean he would move in!
Although I’m encouraging him a lot (not to mention I’ve been helping him so much with preparing his interviews, laying down a business plan, and stuff like that), I don’t want to get too excited about this. Because it’s not sure yet, and we know nothing about the timing (should it become true).
And it’s almost one year since I moved, and I know how much longer we can be a couple living so far away. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed, but I’m trying not to make expectations….

Nothing else relevant is going on lately… I have increased my morning training, but not yet as much as I’d want. At this stage, I’m running 3 to 4 times a week (8km each time), plus I’m skiing at least once over the weekend (twice next one). I’d like to run at least 40km per week….

So good and so sad

I went back to France, spent quality time with KS, and met Lolo’s new girlfriend.
And then I hanged out with Lolo, just the two of us, for hours and hours.
Then I came back, just to dive in an insane DDworld following this daily schedule:
6.00 AM: wake up
6.30 AM leave home, ride my bike to the gym
6.50 AM threadmill for 40 minutes, quick shower, stuff my face with fresh orange juice
8.00 AM get into the tube and go to work
8.30 AM work (lunch break from 1.30PM to 2.00PM)
Sometime between 11.00PM and 2.00AM: go home, throw all clothes on the floor, throw myself in bed.

And then again, and again, and again, day after day. So I neglected my blog as well as my friends, family, cat… everything. Hell, this is so insane I even have a HUGE spot (which is rare for me).
Whatever.

What I want to write about, is Laurent.
As I said, we chatted for hours at Starbucks, and it was so intense. We talked so much, and he asked me some questions about the first weeks I had spent in France back in 2005. I told him something I had buried deep in my heart and not talked about for years, and when I was done he was in tears. Lolo, who always wants to “save” those around him, told me he never had suspected anything like that (we first met shortly after that dark episode), and then I explained him how he had helped me even if he had not known it. After all, he was my first real friend in France.

He told me all about his girlfriend, and about his marriage, and I understand how hard it must be for both him and his wife. What worried me most, however, was that when I told him “Look Lolo, this Blondie really seems into you, so try and be happy with her”, his answer was
“That is the problem, DDgirl. Blondie is great and I care a lot about her, but I don’t feel I could be really happy with her”

It was a strange day, intense, as I said. It felt so good to be able to hang out together and talk about old times, and at the same time, talking about his problems and my old stories was so distressing!
In any case, I’m really glad we could catch up like this. It also made me remember why we became such good friends in first place: because he’s such a good man.

KS was a little sick over the weekend, he had a bad cold and everything, so I did my best to pamper him as much as I could. It was good to spend some time just the two of us, without doing anything special, just cuddling, drinking warm tea and so on.

This is for my beloved boyfriend!

So happy Christmas,
I love you baby,
I can see a better time,
when all our dreams come true.

Just because you feel good (doesn't make you right)

A while ago, Laurent, my favourite ex-co-worker (and ex manager), told me he had issues with his wife and had moved out. This was pretty sad, because they have two little kids and they were an adorable couple (ok, I’ve always had a crush on Lolo’s wife: she was everything I wanted to be!).
A couple of weeks ago I called Lolo and he told m he though his marriage was really over, and he went on explaining me how bad he felt about it: I always considered Lolo as a good man, he was always so full of attentions for his wife, so I believed him.

Tonight he called me because he knows I’ll be in France soon and wanted to set a day to hang out together. And then he dropped the bomb.

“I want to introduce you somebody”
I waited for him to go on, holding my breath.
“She’s your age, you know? We could meet for drinks on Saturday night, with your boyfriend. And then we could hang out, just the two of us, I mean, on Monday, so we can talk properly, and you’ll tell me what you think about her. But I’m sure you’ll like her”.

Like her? What are you, crazy? I hate her already.
Because the only reason that kept me from tearing your clothes off when we were in Norway, from thinking about you 24/7, back when I hadn’t met KS yet, was that I loved your wife.

That night in Norway, you wanted to rip off my sundress as much as I wanted you to. Instead, we hanged out watching the sunset, reinforcing our one year old friendship, telling us shameful stories and getting tipsy on white whine, while watching a sunset that lasted for hours.

Now this was a long time ago, years already. We’re still good friends, although we don’t work the same job, don’t live in the same country anymore, we keep in touch and we miss each other. Last summer Lolo had planned with his family to travel to Italy and visit me for a couple days; instead, they split in August, so they didn’t go anywhere at all.

Lolo, I want to be a good friend and not a lousy one, so I’ll meet your girlfriend and act nice, although apparently she’s already jealous. Hell, I’ll even tell you I’m glad you’re doing fine. Because I do hope you’re happy.
But the truth is I don’t want to meet your girlfriend. The truth is I already hate her.

And the worst part is, if this all makes me so sad, but I'm not sad for me, I'm sad because I enjoyed so much hanging with your wife, she is such a beautiful person. I'll never forget, when I would date a new guy, you would offer advice on sex and such matters, she would offer advice oon what to cook for him (and how), it was so much fun!

But I swear, I’ll behave. I'll be a good friend.


(I really wish you would be reading, my friend. I miss you so much. I know these are hard times for you, and I truly want to give you all my support. I'll do my best, I promise, again.)

Moving in

I. Am. Moving. I can hardly believe it, but I started today and I need to end before Frieday morning…. Ouch!!!
As far as I can tell, since I left my parents’ house (I was almost 18, and now I’m 24, which makes 6 years, double ouch) I have moved exactly 10 times. Now, I’m going to stay at KS current place for a while (moving number 11) until we find a bigger place for the two of us (moving number 12, forecasted around April).
So, yes, I am really excited to be moving in with KS, but I’m exhausted.
And packing all my crap is not the only reason.

Mid year evaluation meeting was held yesterday at work. As we were not allowed to assist, this is what happened according to Laurent. Lolo, aka my fave manager ever, made the preliminary small talk about me, introducing me as a high quality resource. At this point, the old partner of the whole company, who has been working with Lolo and I in Norway and in the Netherlands, agreed with him. And then Tabbie, aka the most horrible person in the world, cut me off. He said I’ll never be able to progress to a senior level, that I don’t manage French well enough, blab la bla. Only, it’s been more than 9 months since I last worked with him. So how the hell can he say so???

The mediation lead to the most stupid idea I ever heard: in June, they’ll propose me a promotion but only if I agree to move to Paris. Which, in case you were wondering, I’ll NEVER agree to, for about ten thousand reasons.
So now I need to find a solution about this big mess.

Leaving on a jet train, I dunno when I'll be back again...

Here I go with the bad news. I’m leaving (as usual) for six weeks (no wonder) to go to the middle of nowhere in southern France (not even by the sea).
And my boss still has the nerves to ask me how come I am single (meaning how come I am a spinster, but he’s not brave enough to say it this way).

To go on with bad news, the new guy who’ll be working with me is married (so no potential boyfriend material on this side), and my fave manager, the adorable Laurent won’t be working on this project. Sigh!!

Altogether this means that, unless a miracle happens during the weekend, Nicolas is out of the games (at least for me), as I probably won’t cross his ways until late December.
So, this is probably a good thing as I should really better stop thinking about him, but it’s awful to see chances disappear like that, really.
It is true however, that I still hope to see him during the weekend, as I’m staying in Lyon. But, I’m afraid he’s going to the mountains for the opening of the skiing season (he’s a snowboarder, and that should be enough for me to despise him. Because yes, as I’m a mountaineering and freeride ski teacher, I can’t help but despise snowboarders!). So, I can probably say goodbye to Nicolas and just go on with my life.

Well, I’m awfully tired, as yesterday I went clubbing once more, so I guess I’d better try to work a bit!
Stay tuned!

MIA / Not MIA?

So, the week went on between emergency on the job, overeating, self-disgust and so on.
Plus, I missed a great night out on Thursday thanx to the national strike that’s going on since a week ago.
On Friday, luckily, I had planned a night out with the girls at my fave pub (for the happy hour), plus disco later.
I did not resist the urge to message Nico “Once more, drinking rosé at the K…”. He answered me immediately, but we didn’t meet, as he went home quite early after the tiring week. He asked me out by message on Saturday night, but, to be honest, I was already dead sleeping.

The best things about the weekend were that I re-styled my flat for the winter and a long Sunday walk with Maria.

On Saturday I just put away the straw mats, the batik and the mosquito net. Besides, I wore on my bed the winter white coverlet, the white baldachin (excuse-me if I’m styliiiish), the white rugs AND the white pillows for the chairs.
Okay, I swear, it DOES NOT look like a hospital, it’s just kind of creamy, ok? Anyway I love it!

Maria and I danced all Friday night right until 4:30AM, but not a single decent guy in view, argh! Music was great however, plus we hanged out book-shopping on Sunday afternoon, weather astonishingly warm given the season.
And, I even managed to go running and to clean up home. And to cook some pretty good and healthy staff. Hey, I’m almost proud of myself!!

Oh, Laurent, my fave manager ever, called my on Friday and Saturday to know if there were any news about the Nico thing, but as usual, what can I say about it?

Call me when you're sober

Yesterday evening I came back from Southern Italy, after a great sunny weekend.
As I had agreed to call Nicolas, I turned on my mob (ok, I had it off since Friday night… I needed holidays!!), and I found a message from him, dated Saturday evening, that said:
Babe, I cannot wait to see you tomorrow… Nico
Great! So, I called him and, after a few rings, got to his voice mail. I just said that I was back and willing to know if he wanted to make arrangements for the evening.
He didn’t call back.
So I’m definitely swinging between two ideas:
- he is somehow afraid to get to the point with me
- he only calls me when he’s drunk

Anyway, I’m waiting for Laurent, so we’ll discuss this matter and he’ll give me a more objective opinion.
In any case, Nico will be away for the whole week.

Back to my weekend, I can only say WOW. We stayed in this wonderful hotel, I went swilling in the sea (it was that warm!), ate delicious food, visited those small seaside towns you always hear about and so on.
And now I’ll go back to work, as I cannot afford to be fired!!

Walk like a cat, act like a Panther

Yesterday I had the phone interview for the dream-job in Switzerland. And I did… GREAT!
So great they already sent me an assessment to be carried out on the web, plus I’ll soon have another interview.
Of course, you don’t believe the Panther was glad about it, do you?

I called her yesterday night, by the way, in order to avoid the usual guilty-feeling “you never call me” (as if!!).
She acted completely Panther-style: all purr-purr cat like in the beginning, just to suddenly get irritated “Careful I look sweet but I might kill ya” style. You know, like when your cat scratches you so suddenly while you’re pampering her??
The Sponsor, (aka daddy) emailed me this morning:

From: Sponsor
To: DDgirl

DDgirl,
I overherad the Panther talking to you yesterday. She’s as usual: sweet and killer, but basically angry with your Bro, so don’t worry. What are you doing for the weekend?
Sponsor

The thing is, I am going to southern Italy, near Naples, with The Manager. Yes I am: after all, as I’ve already said, I AM a sinner, and life is short.
The fact that Nicolas is MIA (and away for work) did help to persuade myself, either.

Talking about work, Laurent, my fave manager ever, keeps saving my ass from awful jobs. Why does he have to be so married (and why do I like his wife?). Why does it happen that I don’t get involved with married men?
Well, this is an innocent work-relationship, so DDgirl, don’t even think about it.

Lies

So, yesterday night Laurent, my fave manager, was taking me home after work, and he called Nicolas, who was in the train, coming back to Lyon.
Obviously I was all excited and makin’ plans, so, when he sent me a message saying “Yo girl, in the end I can’t come to town tonight, sorry! Kisses” I thought he just wanted to make me a surprise.
So I hurried home, took a shower, dressed and all that stuff… and waited… and waited…

At about 10:30 I was annoyed and no so self confident anymore, and tried to call him. No answer.

So I just undressed and went to bed with my teddy to watch Kill Bill. Eventually I fell asleep, and when I woke up to turn off the telly I realized what happened. He had gone to see the football match with his buddies.

Nicolas called me at 2AM in the morning and I didn’t answer. He did not leave a message, either.

Any wonder I’m so sad and fucked up with myself this morning?

Beauty and the hunter

This morning I was walking into the office building when I stumbled into some guys from the audit department, who were going to take a coffee. I joined them, just to step into Nicolas who was taking his coffee as well.
Basically, he turned our Thursday date into an inauguration party of some co-workers’ new apartment.
To me, this means he’s not so keen about going out with me.

Am I becoming one of these awful people who always think things turn bad on them? Ouch.

Later, I got a mail from my favorite guy-friend Andrea, who has a job interview for a hot, marvelous position in Paris on Friday. So, I’ll try to persuade him to come to town to spend the weekend with me after, instead of going back to Finland or to Italy or wherever (the guy is half Italian half Finnish, and although it may sound bizarre, I can swear the result of the mix looks awfully good).

Meanwhile, I was thinking that stepping into a party with Andrea by my side is probably the best way to become men’s main target, as Andrea is quite likely to raise competition.
Okay, I see I oughta tell you something more about him…

Andrea is a dark blond guy, with luxurious straight but volume-full hair, with brighter strands around his deep blue eyes. He isn’t tall, but not a short guy either, quite in shape, very few freckles on his nose when he’s suntanned (90% of the time), that give him this sexy-innocent look.
The thing is, Andrea is everything but innocent. He’s a real hunter, and, given his look, a successful one. But don’t think he’s a tender lover or something: he’s the reigning King of One Night Stands. And basically, that’s why he’s my best friend and not my boyfriend. (Ouch, I can’t believe I just admitted this!!)
Well, Laurent, my fashionable adored lovely manager is faxing me some data to work on, so… I’ll keep you posted!